Me. I Am Mariah Carey…The Purely Opulent Chanteuse.
1. When she rented out Disneyland to renew her vows…for a fifth time.
2. When she only performs with microphones decked out in diamonds.
3. When it was crucial that she sing next to a unicorn.
4. When she wore this bedazzled arm sling.
5. And this feathered arm sling.
6. And this fur sling.
7. And this edgy, ~avant-garde~, studded sling.
8. And this sling to end all slings.
9. When “American Idol” was technically her first job.
10. When she compliments you by throwing flakes of glitter directly at your face.
11. When she takes sips of wine from a giant goblet.
12. When her first wedding dress had a 27-foot train.
13. When gold bodysuits.
14. When her house was basically a castle from a Disney movie.
15. Just look at those chandeliers…PLURAL.