Actors Sir Patrick Stewart and Thomas Middleditch rose to prominence in nerd lore at different angles—the former, by playing heroes to nerds, the latter by playing a nerd who sorta kinda becomes a hero, depending on how invested you are in HBO’s Silicon Valley.
But apparently, the realm is not big enough for the both of them. Middleditch and the man who brought Star Trek: The Next Generation‘s Captain Jean-Luc Picard and X-Men‘s Professor X to life are engaging in an intense—and intensely hilarious—social media war.
It all started a little over two weeks ago, when Middleditch fired this shot across P-Stew’s bow.
Though it took over a week, P-Stew’s response didn’t leave us wanting, as the four-time Emmy nominee dubbed his foe “Middlebitch.”
Middleditch kept the filter theme going, using one that aged him for this questionable impression of the 77-year-old.
They then took to Photoshop (or tasked others with taking to Photoshop), with P-Stew painting Middleditch as his boy-slave and the 35-year-old portraying Stewart as a clueless, helpless old man.
Middlebitch @tombini –when you’re finished with the cars, do go round to the stables and look in on the horses. You know how Mistress loves her apples, Dagworth Maestro needs grooming, and Willie West has the shits, so be sure to give his undercarriage some extra care. I’ll take my tea at precisely two in the rose garden.
Middlebitch @tombini: Tommy, tonight’s pizza was your best yet. As I’ve shown you, it really is all in the hand-tossing. My guests were delighted by the “Pizza 🍕Party🎉”! The only grave misstep was your unkempt armhair. It was truly unsightly-@bryancranston was aghast and took ill. In the future, I require long sleeves during service, or you’re also welcome to see our aesthetician at my expense.
Middlebitch @tombini-I find your scouring technique much improved as of late. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve seen the Carrara floors in the entry parlour shine brighter. But, I’m afraid your personal quarters are in dire need of a good and thorough cleansing. I passed by there en route to my wine cellars for a ’79 Margaux and couldn’t help but notice your room smelled distinctly of fart.
Middlebitch @tombini–If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times: box hedges FIRST, and THEN the topiary. Additionally you’ve really let the geraniums outside the conservatory fall into a sorry state. Tommy, I’m growing weary of these reminders, as I feel that for the amount of time you have been on staff, you truly ought to be further along. Disappointed. Also, the dungarees are a bit much.
As you might have guessed, the two are actually good friends. In 2005, Middleditch cofounded the Improvised Shakespeare Company. Eight years later, Stewart joined the company for a special performance, and has since returned several times.