13 Drinking Myths Debunked in GIFs

By 

We’ve heard all the tall tales over the years. Foolproof ways to avoid hangovers, combinations that will make you barf, even certain items and actions that promise to sober you up immediately. Everyone has an idea or an opinion on how one can offset the negative effects of drinking alcohol, but we’ve often wondered what trusty old science has to say about some of these suggestions.

So without further adieu, The Savory is going to comprehensively break down the drinking myths that have become commonplace in the quest to drink well and limit suffering!

SOBER YOU UP

Black Coffee – False

Said to sober you up and help straighten you out, a big cup of black coffee won’t do that. It might waken you slightly from a drunken daze, but you’ll be just as drunk and only slightly more awake.

Cold Shower – False

It’ll fresher you up, aggravate your senses and wake you up a little, but it won’t do anything to sober you up.

Sleep – True

Sleep will work because it means the dormant passing of time. The liver can only process one unit of alcohol per hour, so the only thing that will sober you up is time.

LESSEN YOUR HANGOVER*

Water – True

A large part of the hangover’s might comes from alcohol’s ability to dehydrate you. If you regularly drink water throughout the night and sink a couple of big glasses before bed, you’ll certainly lessen the effects.

Stay Away from Darker Liquor – True
 

Darker liquor contains more congeners – a toxic chemical that arises during the fermentation process, which tends to contribute heavily to hangovers. But again, don’t think that drinking a quart of vodka will spare you.

Fried Food – False

Eat fruits and vegetables, maybe a little rice for positive energy, but don’t eat fried food. Why do your body more damage? It makes no sense.

Sticking to One Drink – Debatable

If the alternative is drinking lots of different things with varying levels of sugar and E numbers, then yes, only drinking whiskey with water all night will hurt you less. But if you’re going to go in with that mentality and drink a bottle of Scotch, good luck.

Drink Expensive Stuff – False

While crappy liquor has most likely gone through less rigorous filtration and has more impurities, drinking top shelf doesn’t necessarily spare one from the horrors.

Vomiting – Almost Completely False

If the drink hasn’t been put through your liver yet, you might be able to avoid feeling its effects. But please, don’t try to vomit at the end of the night to get rid of some booze. That’s dangerous.

* For a comprehensive list of means to avoid a hangover, refer to our previous article on the subject.

KEEPING YOU GOING

Energy Drinks – True and False

They’re horrible things and we wouldn’t advise that anyone drink them. But if you’re fading, drinking an energy drink INSTEAD OF A DRINK would be a means of fighting the fade. But having a vodka Red Bull will just get you more drunk. And it’s not good for your heart either.

Big Meal before Starting to Drink – True

Having something in your stomach is going to slow the alcohol’s absorption time. Drinking on an empty stomach is hazardous, as the drink tends to chase you down rather than creep up on you. Eat well before starting to drink.

QUALITY

Older Means Better – False

Everything, including your fine self, has a peak. A forty-year-old bottle of scotch whisky doesn’t necessarily taste better than a twelve-year-old bottle. You can overdo it spectacularly in a barrel. Older will almost always be more expensive, but price shouldn’t ever be considered a prerequisite for quality.

More Expensive Means More Refined – False

I once served a man a shot of Louis XIII with a single ice cube, a squirt of lime, a splash of water and a splash of Diet Coke. Newsflash, mate! That just makes you look richer. You are infinitely less refined than the dude drinking the seven-dollar craft beer.

All images via Tumblr