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People You’d Totally Expect To See At Walmart

People You’d Totally Expect To See At Walmart January 30, 2018

Walmart people are very specific kinds of folks. They're mostly just honest, hardworking Americans trying to find great bargains... while ignoring each and every single rule that society has put in place to keep us civilized.

Walmart superstores across the country don't seem like the most likely places to find the craziest fashion looks you've ever laid eyes on, but these shoppers prove that it's not just likely that you'll see a unique outfit at the store, it's the norm!

Off Leash

People of Walmart

If you’re wearing a leash to shop, you’d probably be better off shopping at Petco. Pets aren’t really allowed at Walmart anyways, so she probably should’ve stayed in the car. 

Goose on the Loose

People of Walmart

Most people don’t even bring their dogs to Walmart, let alone their geese. I’m sure its owner just wanted the little bird to get socialized by meeting some of the strangest people it’ll ever encounter.

Pimp My Ride

People of Walmart

These puppies might make good speed, but good luck getting your lawnmower onto the highway. And how thoughtful, the driver added a wagon sidecar to bring a friend along.

Looking Like a Snack

People of Walmart

Nothing goes better with a donut shirt than pizza pants! He is practically wearing his shopping list, the only other thing he needs is milk socks, so he doesn’t forget to pick up a gallon. 

Fresh Out of the Water

People of Walmart

Dolphins are the smartest animals in the ocean, but they’re still dumb enough to have found their way onto this tourist’s head. Maybe he’s taking a stance for Seaworld, but hopefully he lets the dolphin do all the talking for him. 

Stilts

People of Walmart

Stores that are ‘no shoes, no service’ must see some weird ways to subvert that rule. Those sky-high heels aren’t making her shopping trip any easier judging by the way she has to bend down to move her shopping cart. 

In a Rush

People of Walmart

You wouldn’t want to be seen at the store with wet hair, that would just be embarrassing. Better to call attention to your wet hair and try to dry it at the same time. Because you wouldn’t want anyone at Walmart to think you’re lazy.

Here Comes the Bride

People of Walmart

Even if the couple met while working at Walmart, they could have chosen a more romantic setting for their special day. Is the reception going to be in the parking lot? Will the deli counter be catering? At least last minute gifts will be easy to find.

Halloween Again Already?

People of Walmart

The amount of people who show up to Walmart in costume is astounding. Sometimes it’s laundry day and you just don’t have any other options, but when a large adult-sized Winnie the Pooh costume is the only clean clothes you have, you have to reevaluate your life choices.

The Higher the Hair, The Closer to God

People of Walmart

Taking fashion inspiration from a poodle at a dog park never looked stranger. It’s a wonder how she doesn’t topple over under the weight of that massive hairdo. 

Get the Band Back Together

People of Walmart

Walmart’s long aisles may have some great acoustics, but it’s not really the best location for band practice. And good luck living down the humiliation once your school mates see you playing the clarinet in the produce aisle. 

You Can’t See Me!

People of Walmart

We would comment on the people in this photo, but they are simply not visible. Maybe they’re hunting down a good deal or they don’t want to be seen shopping at Walmart by their friends. 

Sleeping on the Job

People of Walmart

Feel free to test out the furniture, as long as you’re out by closing time. Maybe he should think about buying this couch, cause it’s comfy enough to fall asleep on immediately. 

The Little Rascals

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: ausom.com

It's not her, it's the rascal. Don't be an *sshole. All she wants is a value and maybe some of those gift cards over there. She even bothered to wear grimace-purple. Who are you to judge? What do you wear to, like, CVS? 

They Call It The Spruce Moose

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

This venerable bastion of both automotive art and transportation innovation proves not only effective, but beautiful in its execution and usefulness. Bask in its glory, and witness how easy it is to simply hop off and grab the creamer, put it in the cart, then get back in. Take that, world.

Chinese Acrobats? Move Aside.

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

Notice as the mother Walmart Person balances her offspring on her posterior to keep them from the dirty floor. While her feet brave the cold, hard linoleum floor, her child stands comfortably, shoeless, where God meant him to. Magnificent. Absolutely magnificent. 

This Human Chameleon

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

This man, unlike any other man in the store at the time, didn't want the cameras to catch him taking advantage of too many deals. They've caught him before. But oh, oh yeah. He knows. He knows. Rainbow Bill is going to make them all sorry an walk away basically stealing from the store. 

They Let Horses In Walmarts Now

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

Have you ever seen a horse in a Walmart? Of course you haven't, because this is a new rule. And that rule is that you can now bring your horse into Walmart. Any Walmart. No matter how small. You also get a new bag of feed and a free gun. Come on down! 

Clean Up On Aisle Four!

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

Am I right?! Clean up on aisle four! Get it? Cause someone had a spill! Better bring the MOP! Hahaha! No but for real I hope this person is okay. Or at least that he got his Pepsi. 

Kids Are A Drag!

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

You get it?! This kid is being dragged alive by this rascal! The rascal is also riding a motor scooter, w'uh oh! Watch out! Haha! Okay, but for real, hopefully that kid is alive and that's not a blood streak on the floor. 

Okay What's The Last Thing You Accomplished?

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

No really. Think about it. What's the last thing you accomplished? Like reallly accomplished. This woman can reach for her Katy Perry CDs without bending over. Can you do that? No you cannot. Also she got her feet into those sandals. You probably couldn't do that either. 

Iguanas Are An Entire Personality

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there with your dog. I don't like animals that are so low to the ground. My iguana eats things alive. What does your dog eat? Oh it's in that aisle? Cute. Where's your hat?"

Mini Alligators Are A Personality

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: People of Walmart

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there with your dog. I don't like animals that are so hairy. My alligator eats things alive. What does your dog eat? Oh it's in that aisle? Cute. Where's your hat?"

That's All You Really Need

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: dumpaday

When do you really chew stuff with more than one tooth? Also how much do you care, individually, about your teeth? They're a team and they're all muddied. Her one tooth probably has a name, and that name probably has more love in it than you do in your entire life. 

Spongebob SQUAREpants

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

This woman is owning her shape and I'm proud of that for her. It's Spongeob Squarepants and frankly the woman has kind of a rectangular shape to her torso. And there's nothing wrong with that. This is the most honest outfit on this gallery - no, on the Internet. 

Wait. Is She Really?

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

Is this woman?... Did she?... Wow. It looks like... A miracle has happened! This woman no longer needs her cane! And that is the craziest part of this picture. 

You Can't Argue With The Temperature Of Those Buns

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

Those buns must be actually very, very hot. Imagine those buns sitting in the car, at any temperature. That looks like a woman with leather seats. And probably, I would say, a 1997 Dodge Grand Caravan? That's some solid leather and some solid American steel. 

So What? People Cosplay As Elmo All The Time.

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

I don't know about the rest of the country, but I live in Los Angeles, and people dress like absolute weirdos around here. Some guy dresses like an Elmo with a filthy Lakers jersey on and nobody bothers him. Her sh*t is clean. And it matches. And she's got her Mott's goin. Sounds like a night.

She'll Make You Jump. Jump.

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

Remember Kriss Kross? They were a hip hop duo made up of two young men in the early '90s. They had a popular song called "Jump" and they would always wear their clothes backwards. This woman is probably just a really, really huge fan of them. Because how do you even button that alone? 

This Is Fine

Walmart People
IMAGE BY: Imgur

Listen, if you've made it this far in this gallery, then this is fine. This is nothing. Everything actually kind of fits. Also it looks like this person is even buying produce. Everything goes, it's not a bad outfit. Move on, this is fine. 

Cheetah Girls

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If you’re a well dressed woman about town, you don’t dress down for any occasion. That means that even shopping trips require a bit of finesse, and some comfiness. A leopard print onesie is the only way to go.

Dressed to the Nines

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It’s easy to spot the few people who really put an effort into their outfits no matter where they’re going. You’ll always see a few men in suits at the airport and a few women in designer dresses in the checkout line.

Pancake Apologies

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There’s not much you can do to clean up a spill in the aisle, so the least you can do is apologize for causing it. Some other good examples of things to write in your mess would be, “whoops,” “oops,” or “can you believe it’s not butter?”

Gone Fishin’

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Not all suburban areas in America have outdoor recreations like fishing, but almost all of them have Walmarts. So, if you’re stuck wondering when you’ll ever get outside again, know that your local fish seller is only a car ride away.

As Long as You Can Grow It

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This is much more of a marvel than it may seem. Dreadlocks are so heavy that this man is probably a bodybuilder by the fact that he can carry his hair with ease all day. 

Spider Girl

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Just like meeting an actor in person, meeting a superhero in person can sometimes be a bit of a let down. Especially when they’re in the self check out picking up some Mac and cheese for the week.

I Can Explain!

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The only reasonable explanation that this man could give the officer for why he is disheveled and carrying a well dressed dog is that his friend got cursed and turned into a dog. And the antidote is hidden somewhere in the gardening section of Walmart.

Mom, Can I Keep Him?

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This iguana has a tie on, so he’s obviously an upstanding citizen of the animal kingdom. He’s just trying to get acquainted with this woman’s bun the only way he knows how, by tasting it.

Baby Monkey Sighting

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Walmart sells everything, including baby monkey food. And there’s no better way to get socialized with the modern world than by meeting some of the weirdest people you’ll ever encounter face to face.

Pointing Out His Flaws

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Although not as helpful as a real security guard, an insecurity guard will definitely assist you with any sudden existential crises you may have while shopping for another box of pasta, week after week, month after month.

Here Comes the Bride

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Walmart doesn’t even sell wedding dresses, so the only explanation to this photo op is that she walked in the store wearing her gown. That’s a bold move considering her white train is dragging along the floor of every single aisle.

Keep an Eye on You

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Once your kids have outgrown their carseats, you’ll need another way to make sure they stay out of trouble and don’t go reaching for any low-hanging candy in the store. It was either this or a child leash, and those are just tacky.

Helping Out

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Most Walmart shoppers push their small children around the store in the cart, not the other way around! This totally means that she can put whatever candies she wants into the cart at her choosing.

Cereal Fiend

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This guy loves cereal so much that he keeps a king sized spoon around his neck at all times. Just don’t try to fool him with that sugar free stuff, cause that spoon is heavy.

True Love in Aisle 2

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Riding two to a motorized scooter is all fun and games until somebody takes a spill in aisle two. It’s much more fun to get two scooters and race your way down the aisles like they are Mario Cart courses, obviously.

Late for the Rodeo

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If you don’t live in Texas near the border of Mexico, you might not be aware of some of the insane fashion trends that have made their way over the border. Everything is bigger in Texas, including toenails, apparently.

Way Too Much Potassium 

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Nothing can prepare Walmart cashiers for the strange orders they see every day. Whether its nothing but a pint of ice cream and some chocolate sauce signifying a fun night in or absolutely all of the bananas from the produce aisle, it’s a common occurrence. 

The Flood’s Coming

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If you need these suspenders of steel to hold up your jeans, might I suggest investing in the modern invention of a belt. This might also mean that your pants are just way too loose, man.

Flavorful Threads

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Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves and other people wear their stomachs on their legs. This fit is brought to you by the same people who brought you pizza pants and banana berets.

Punk Santa

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At Christmas time in Walmart, you usually only see frantic fathers searching for last minute gifts and rushing mothers looking for the last ingredient needed for their stuffing recipe. So, punk Santa is a rare sighting that should be cherished at all costs.

Free Trial

Snapchat

Don’t ever buy a game during its release week without giving it a test run. Whether you’ve got a Walmart or a Best Buy in town, you can usually get through a few hours of game play before you’re asked to leave.

Welcome to the Rodeo

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Walmart is so large that it sometimes has forced smaller businesses out of town. But, it’s also large enough to host events inside, so if you’re okay passing a petting zoo on your way through the produce aisle, everyone’s happy!

Horse on a Horse

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Just because you’ve decided to live the rest of your life as a horse, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the simplicity of doing errands with your human friends. This guy would love to meet you after work for drinks, but he’s just gotta say neigh.

Birds of a Feather

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This must be what Jimmy Buffett does on weekends. That or this is what all of his fans mean when they call themselves “parrot heads.” There’s no doubt that this guy has an island groove stuck in his head.

Looking for a Third

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Nothing is more comfortable than a plush onesie, and it’s easy to get your friends to join in on the look, too. Just keep a few laying around the house and next thing you know, your roommate will be dressed to the nines in head-to-toe fleece.

A Hidden Oasis

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If you are able to look at the world through rose-colored glasses, every couch and recliner can be as relaxing as an island near the equator. And, if you were dragged to the store by your family, this is an easy option to pass the time.

Conga Line

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If you want a way to mimic passing notes in class long after you’ve graduated from high school, just set up one of these motorized scooter conga lines and be happy that you’re not a kid anymore.

Put Your Best Foot Forward

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Nike should definitely speak out against this footwear monstrosity soon, before it becomes the standard footwear of the NBA. It’s just crazy enough to provide absolutely no support, so it should sell like hotcakes.

Nana Slicer?!

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Don’t let your Nana see this product in your house or she might have nightmares! In this home, Nana cuts up our bananas with a butter knife and we like it that way!

Take a Load Off

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There’s no place in the world more peaceful than the toy aisle of a Walmart store during the school day. Every busy parent needs their rest, so don’t disturb any sleeping shoppers you might see around noon.

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