Where to even begin with this piece of work? OK, so we’re in Florida. Royal Palm Beach. There’s a Wendy’s there just like everywhere else in the country. Joshua James, some POS kid—well, adult really. Guy’s 23—pulls into the drive-through. (Sidebar: why does every restaurant spell it “drive-thru” now? Do they think the minor truncation makes them hip or something?) Anyway, Josh pulls through, orders a drink, pulls around.
Then, after the Wendy's employee, who you know is already making a criminally low wage, hands over his Dr. Pepper or whatever, this dickhead reaches into the back of his truck and grabs a f*cking ALIGATOR and throws the thing through that little window they serve you through.
Naturally, this sh*tbird gets arrested and charged with aggravated assault and unlawful possession and transportation of an alligator because, duh, we live in an Orwellian dystopia with cameras everywhere, guy. Of course they got your license and face, homie.
His parents are all like, it’s “just a stupid prank,” and point out that it’s funny how this whole thing happened in October but dude’s just getting arrested now. I dunno why the timeline be like it is, but quit deflecting and get your house in order, James fam.
During his first court hearing this a.m., the judge was honestly pretty chill, letting Josh off with a slap on the wrist as long as he avoids contact with animals, submits to random drug and alcohol tests, and stays out of Wendy’s for a minute, which has to suck because they’re doing that gouda burger thing right now and it is bomb.