The AFC South Is an Absolute Sh*t Show

By 

(Photo: Getty)

In a season where the majority of NFL teams are mediocre, the AFC South sits at the bottom of the dung pile of four-win teams. While teams like the Patriots, Bengals, Panthers and Vikings continue to dominate in their respective divisions, teams from the AFC South continue to seep toxic fluid on the rest of the league like a landfill of old rusty batteries sitting next to a reservoir.

Thursday night saw the “epic” AFC South divisional rivalry between Jacksonville and Tennessee, which any fan outside of those cities would have to be drunk to enjoy. Not even the Color Rush uniforms were enough to make fans want to watch Blake “Beast Mode” Bortles go up against Marcus Mariota and his receiving corps of Pop Warner wideouts.

The Jaguars won the game 19-13 and many are already saying the cats out of North Florida are the favorite to win the division (which is a real possibility). The Jags have won three of four, grabbing a stake as one of the three four-win teams in the AFC South (seriously the Jaguars? Really?).

What’s even sadder than Jacksonville being a division contender is the two other teams they’re competing with … the Texans and Colts.

Houston is coming off a surprising road victory over the undefeated Bengals, but they are basically playing with scraps at the quarterback position with Brian Hoyer, T.J. Yates (who will start on Sunday) and recent Dallas Cowboys failure Brandon Weeden.

Not to mention Arian Foster is out for the rest of the season, the defense is inconsistent and they need to hold teams to under 10 points to have any chance at winning (which is why they beat Cincinnati). Yet, the Texans are tied for first place.

But the Colts right now make the Texans looks stable. Indy just fired their offensive coordinator, head coach Chuck Pagano’s relationship with ownership is poor and Andrew Luck will miss the next few weeks with a lacerated kidney. Typically the Colts are a shoo-in in the AFC South, but this season they decided to join the dung pile.

Oh, I almost forgot, the two-win Titans are in the division too. Marcus Mariota is a bright young quarterback that’s spent the majority of his rookie season with defensive linemen in his face, while throwing to receivers that can’t get open. It’s been nice knowing you Marcus.

So one of these four teams will be a division winner and host a playoff game come January. The AFC South is basically that friend you invited to the party because your mother didn’t want them to feel excluded.