This offseason, the Houston Texans thought they'd solved a quarterback crisis so dire it made their fans pine for the days of watching Matt Schaub hoist wobbly jump balls to Andre Johnson.
But seven games after the team unloaded a truck full of $72 million ($37 million guaranteed) onto former Denver Broncos signal caller Brock Osweiler, Houstonites are missing each and every one of the eight quarterbacks that took snaps for them in 2014 and 2015 combined (you read that right: eight).
Despite a 4-3 record—they're lucky to be in the worst division in football—Osweiler has been miserable, ranking 30th in the NFL in passer rating, 29th in completion percentage, and 32nd in yards per attempt among qualified players. The only two QBs to come in behind Osweiler in any of those categories are Blaine Gabbert and Ryan Fitzpatrick, who have each been benched already this year.
He's been so bad that a Texans fans started a GoFundMe fundraising effort to buy out the 26-year-old's contract. Though as of this writing it's only amassed $215 of the $72 million goal.
"I am a die hard Texans fan and we need to get rid of Brock Osweiler or we're not going anywhere," wrote user Ali A-g. "He is a waste of 72 million and for a dollar a day we can get him out and make DeAndre Hopkins happy."
That's not exactly how the CBA works, but I'll let Ali have this one.
At least donors are having a lot of fun with it.