He said in a statement:
I was shocked by a positive test for Turinabol, as I have never knowingly taken any banned substances. I am 5-foot-9 tall and 180 pounds, and I have never used steroids in my life. I’m a good athlete, but anyone can look at my body composition and tell that I’m not a steroid user. While I did not have enough time prior to the deadline to resolve this case, I fully intend to investigate this matter until I am able to figure out what caused the positive test, because I know that I have done nothing wrong. When I find out what substance was tainted, I will pursue all remedies at that time, because this is not right. I have and will always be a clean player, and I look forward to returning to the Jets to play against the Saints next month.
While, four weeks later, his investigation hasn’t yet yielded any hard evidence, he has a pretty guess as to why that is: ghosts don’t leave evidence.
“I don’t know,” Kerley said on Wednesday, his first day back from a four-game suspension. “There’s a lot of ghosts around here. Maybe a ghost put it in me. You know the Ghost of Christmas Past? A ghost might have put it in me. I don’t know.”
Kerley’s not the first NFLer to blame a failure on a ghost. Former Buffalo Bills wide receiver Steve Johnson once blamed arguably the most famous ghost—no, not Casper, but the Holy Ghost—for his dropping a potential game-winning touchdown in the end zone.
His Twitter reaction’s wisely been deleted, but it lives on.