Cardi B And Offset Just Had A Daughter And I Can’t Handle Her Extra AF Name

Emily Gadsby
Cardi B and Offset welcome their newborn daughter
(Photo: @iamcardib / Instagram)

When you’re a celebrity, naming your kid something basic like “Stephen” or “Jessica” won’t cut it. The Hollywood elite operate on a plane far removed from the normals. They need the world to know their kids are different in every way, right down to their gilded monikers. Cardi B and Offset’s new infant daughter was born into the lap of luxury with hip-hop royalty as parents. And she’s no exception to A-list tradition. 

Cardi B and Offset welcome their newborn daughter

With parents boasting names like Belcalis Almanzar (Cardi B) and Kiari Cephus (Offset), is it really that surprising that the two rappers joined forces to name their daughter Kulture Kiari?

I thought Hollywood narcissism couldn’t go lower when it came to baby names than Kim and Kanye naming their daughter Chicago after Yeezy’s hometown. But #CoffSet stepped up to the plate. Unbelievably, Bardi and Offset named their own flesh and blood after Offset’s most recent Migos albums, 2017’s “Culture” and 2018’s “Culture II.” 

I’m still struggling to wrap my head around a baby named “Kulture” entering the world with more money than I’ll ever see. It’s not surprising that two of hip-hop’s biggest showboats went to the extra end of the baby-naming spectrum. Forget True. Forget Stormi. Because baby Bardi is out here doing it for the culture.