The Hatha-hate has died down, but I still can’t forgive what was. That hatred was always completely irrational. People hated her because she’s “affected” or she’s a “try-hard.” What does that even mean? Like, people are truly just grasping at straws when those are their reasons for hating someone. Anne Hathaway is a ferociously talented actor who never said an unkind word about anyone, and that’s really it.
Look, I actually understand why you hate Jaden Smith. He’s loaded, entitled and pretentious. Annoying qualities all. But remember: The dude’s still a teenager. All teenagers are obnoxious and smug. They’re allowed to be. They’re allowed to have contrived personalities. Just because Jaden Smith is filthy rich doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have to figure himself out. Bet you weren’t as woke as him when you were a sophomore.
The world hates Kanye West because he’s loud, brash, arrogant and moody. Yeah, no shit. He’s a rock star. That’s how rock stars have behaved since the beginning of time. And almost none of them have a discography as unimpeachable as Kanye’s. Quit expecting the man to apologize for being the best.
Here’s the story of a woman in Hollywood who’s so talented that she managed to get onto our TVs without looking like a model or spouting quaint, toothless sound bites designed to make men feel comfortable with and unthreatened by her intelligence. She made a TV show that portrays young women as realistically flawed, complicated, and having imperfect bodies. The reason people have a problem with that is – surprise! – misogyny.
No one even likes Adam Sandler’s movies, except for the millions of people who made them the most-watched things in Netflix history, and even though he gave us “Billy Madison” and “Happy Gilmore,” and was adorable in “The Wedding Singer,” and Oscar-worthy in “Punch-Drunk Love,” that’s not enough for people because he made “Grown Ups” as an excuse to go on vacation with his comedy friends, as if you or I wouldn’t do the same thing if we had Adam Sandler money.
Madonna is rich and she speaks with an affected British accent even though she’s an Italian chick from Detroit, but that doesn’t change the fact that she made “True Blue,” so anyone who dares to criticize her can straight-up blow it out their ass.
Hayden Christensen has been pilloried for 15 years because he failed, in the eyes of mouth-breathing geeks all over the world, to convincingly play the role of a space wizard with tennis balls for co-stars; an empty, fluorescent-green void for a set; and dog shit smeared on paper for a script. On the list of reasons why the “Star Wars” prequels suck, Hayden Christensen shouldn't even be in the Top 50.
People hate Katherine Heigl why? Because she seems like kind of a bitch? Why? Because she made some really pretty valid points about “Knocked Up” being almost absurdly sexist, and therefore was deemed ungrateful for getting to star in that pile of garbage? Sorry that a woman in show business dares to keep it real instead of maintaining a reputation for being “easy to work with.” #SorryNotSorry.
In addition to being an actor and a sex symbol, James Franco is also a producer, a director, a singer, a model, a painter, a college professor, a performance artist, a novelist and short-story writer, a dancer, a poet, a photographer and a pilot. People hate him because he’s done everything they always say they’re going to do but never will because they watch Netflix all day instead.
People hate Renee Zellweger because her eyes are squinty. That’s it. Because her eyes are squinty. As if that could be a legitimate reason to hate someone even if they weren’t in “Empire Records.”
Nickelback sucks. I’m not denying that. However, the amount of hatred to which this band is subjected is completely out of proportion to how much they suck. Why is everyone so angry about Nickelback? Hating this one bland, Canadian rock band has become de rigeur to the point where hating Nickelback is roughly 30 times more cliche and uninteresting than Nickelback itself.
Hatred for Jennifer Lawrence is very specific, because it’s that backlash hate. It’s the kind of hatred that comes only for someone who is universally beloved. The fact that everyone loves Jennifer Lawrence so much is the only reason why everyone hates her so much. But the people who love her are correct, and the people who hate her need to get with the program.
Minions are cute and funny. It’s not the Minions’ fault that your aunt in Missouri posts stupid Minions memes about weekends and wine on Facebook every single day.
People have a lot of problems with Taylor Swift that make no sense. One common complaint is that “all her songs are about breakups.” Gee, we’ve never heard of a pop star singing about fraught relationships before. (JK, that’s what all pop songs are about.) “She beefs with Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj.” Right, and rivalries between stars in every genre of rock and pop haven’t been a thing for 1,000 years. (JK, there’s been tabloid fodder in the music business since before there were tabloids.) So what’s the real issue? Like Kanye, Tay Tay is just too talented and too popular for haters to deal with.
When Miley Cyrus was a teenager, a mass media conglomerate packaged her as America’s sweetheart. Then, when she was a grown-ass adult, she decided to be honest about liking sex and weed just as much as a lot of other 20-somethings. That, plus not being ashamed of her body, sure made a lot of people hate her breathing guts. Those people are idiots. Miley Cyrus is fun.