5 Things Snooki Should Do Before Getting Married

John Howard
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Please make way for the Snooks, world. The girl is getting married soon.

According to a series of new reports, Snooki is racing to get down the aisle and tie the knot with fiancé, Jionni LaValle, already. But, there are a few things holding the couple back. Namely, the fact that they’re still living in his parents’ basement.

In a recent interview with MTV News, Snooki said this of their living situation:

“Me and Jionni want to have a house first, ’cause we don’t want to get married and go back in his parent’s basement. So right now we’re in the process of building our home, so until that’s ready we’re just waiting on the wedding, not rushing it.”

But, in addition to finding a house, here are five other things we think Snooki should do before getting married…

1. Playboy: Yeah, I said it. Go ahead and whine with your tiny anti-“Jersey Shore” complaints, claiming the Snooks isn’t up to your pervy-Playboy standards. But, the fact is, the Chilean reality star is a BABE and the same people who’d bitch and moan about “who the hell decided to put Snooki in Playboy” would be the same closet fans to pick up the meatball-graced issue. 

2. Get a Pickle-Sucking Endorsement Deal: Would whomever reps the guidette get her a deal with Vlasic, already? How many hundreds of thousands of jars of pickles have sold as a direct result of Snooki openly endorsing their crispy, tangy goodness on her various television appearances? The answer is a lot (probably).

3. Reenact ‘Thelma & Louise’ With JWoww: “Jennie… Let’s keep going,” says Snooki to JWoww, before rocketing off the cliff together. Only in this version, their Thunderbird is actually a souped-up pink Escalade and they survive, because we can’t let them die and also they need to film Season 3 of “Snooki & JWoww.”

4. Write Another Novel: Because her best-selling debut as a novelist in A Shore Thing was so groundbreaking, there’s no doubt fans are chomping at the bit for her next “fictional” installment about a Jersey Shore-based girl, who this time accidentally gets pregnant and has to act like an adult for the first time, like, ever…

5. Go to Vegas, Get Drunk, Throw Up, Drink More, Then Fall Over: You know, for old time’s sake…

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