Beyonce and Jay Z’s Insane Employee Bonuses Revealed

Matt Dekneef


Those are the only appropriate characters to begin this story, because the English alphabet just won’t do.

Now, not only are Beyoncé and Jay Z the World’s Best Individual Human Beings who also united to then become the World’s Best Couple Ever, they’re also the World’s Best Bosses.

According to sources close to their businesses, the two gave their collective employees bonus checks of at least $45,000 each. Between Jay and Bey, they have 80 employees, which comes to a grand total of $4 million!

The staff was so amazed, they thought it had to have been an error.

“Nobody got left out,” a source told the Daily Star. “A lot of them couldn’t believe it and phoned his personal assistant to check that there hadn’t been some mistake.”

Well that settles the problem I lose sleep over every single night imagining like, what I would do or say to Beyoncé if I ever met her. Because clearly I will not be asking her for an autograph, or an Instagram photo, or if we can go on bike rides over the Brooklyn Bridge together. I will be giving her my résumé.

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