‘Jurassic World 2’ Needs to Abandon the Theme Park Premise

Matthew Loffhagen
(Photo: Universal)

Jurassic Park movies are essentially about two things: dinosaurs, and theme parks.

That’s great and all, except for when it really doesn’t work.

Only the first movie and the fourth movie have featured an actual park of any kind – Jurassic Park and Jurassic World both show off tourist attractions that go horribly, predictably wrong once you throw dinosaurs (and the occasional errant programmer) into the mix.

Jurassic Park 2 and 3, on the other hand, instead maintain the specter of the theme park premise, but come up with weird, convoluted explanations as to why there’s a big, huge abandoned area filled with dinosaurs for people to get lost in.

These movies are both a bit terrible in their own right, with contrived stories that push for dinosaur action that isn’t earned, thanks to an insistence on sticking to the idea of scaly lizard tourist traps.

We’ve had the chance to see our first little look at Jurassic World 2 today, and it seems that a trailer for the new movie is coming in the near future – possibly to coincide with The Last Jedi reaching theaters.

We don’t know much about the new movie’s story, but it’s been hinted and rumored that the sequel will leave the theme park premise, and will possibly explore how exactly humans and dinosaurs interact once the giant scaly monsters are no longer confined by cages.

There’s a chance, however slim, that this franchise might end up with military forces training dinosaurs for combat situations. If taken to the extreme, the Jurassic World franchise could live up to its name, and end up going full Planet of the Apes, with humans fighting for survival as they’re wiped out by intelligent dinosaurs.

This, you might notice, sounds way more exciting than finding some dumb reason to go back to an abandoned amusement park to seek out some form of MacGuffin.

There’s a lot of stories that can be explored with the sci-fi premise of humans and dinosaurs existing side by side in the modern world. Let’s get some originality and some unique ideas, rather than just making us suffer through more of the same.

Jurassic World Velociraptors
Source: Universal

The best option: how about a world overrun by dinosaurs that have been bred for war? A Wild West scenario in which dino trainers fight endless turf wars, where gangs rule supreme by stealing as many monsters as they can get their hands on, and where one hero fights alongside a trusty dinosaur ally in an ongoing quest to become the very best, like no-one ever was?

Okay, yes, that’s just basically the plot to any Pokémon game, but still, it’d be worth seeing on the big screen.

Here’s hoping that when we do learn what Jurassic World 2 is all about, it won’t just be yet another trip to some stupid island full of dinosaurs that ends in disaster.