The ‘Kingsman 2’ Marketing Team Just Took Credit For Making The Solar Eclipse Happen

Matthew Loffhagen
Columbia Tristar
(Photo: Columbia Tristar)

If you’ve been enjoying all the excitement and coverage surrounding the solar eclipse today, be sure to thank the marketing team at Kingsman: The Golden Circle.

A new promotional video has revealed that this group of marketers were responsible for pushing the moon out of orbit and into the path of the sun, in order to create an enormous “golden circle” to create buzz surrounding Matthew Vaughn’s upcoming movie.

While this certainly is a lot better as a marketing strategy than simply “Millennial”, it’s sadly not worked quite as well as the team might have hoped – while everyone’s been talking about the eclipse, very few people have realised that it was designed as move to promote The Golden Circle.

Most people have simply been assuming that the eclipse was the result of a perfectly natural celestial alignment, which suggests the marketing team dropped the ball somewhat when it came to getting the word out.

With a big budget marketing company now capable of literally moving the moon in order to make a point, there’s a discussion to be had about the ethics of doing so. After all, the moon affects the tide, as well as weather patterns across the globe – a lot of people are going to see their livelihoods destroyed by resulting environmental disasters.

It’s hard not to wonder what might be next now that movie promotional campaigns need to live up to the eclipse – perhaps Jurassic World 2 will see genuine dinosaurs let loose in Central Park, or maybe Disney will blow up a planet in anticipation of the theatrical release of The Last Jedi.

We’ll have to wait and see whether the lunar stunt pulled by the Kingsman marketing team is actually justifiable – if the movie is as good as it looks in trailers, then all will be forgiven.

[Editor’s note: the above article is intended for comedic purposes, playing on the joke made by Kingsman’s marketing team. Please do not try moving the moon yourself, as doing so unaided will probably cause back strain.]

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