Naomi Campbell Mugged in Paris?

Matt Dekneef
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Naomi Campbell, reigning supermodel of the ‘90s and famously allergic to cellular phones, has been spotted all over town in a wheelchair and pair of crutches as of late. Hot.

She’s been working the wheelchair look all December, but Naomi and her team have yet to fill anyone in on why she’s rocking this particular look. But because she’s something of an icon in the glamorously out-of-touch fashion industry, we were all left to assume a torn ligament was the latest must-have accessory this winter.

Today, further details have emerged somewhat and it turns out this isn’t exactly the fashion forward statement we were all led to believe it was, so now I’ll have to return that wheelchair I bought for Paris Fashion Week. Ugh, hate when that happens!

According to a source at The New York Post, Naomi was assaulted by a gang while hailing a cab in Paris. “It was terrifying,” a source who wasn’t there recounts from grizzly imagination to the Post’s Page Six. “She was attacked in the street as she hailed a cab, and robbed. Her leg was injured as she was violently pushed to the ground. She was understandably very upset and shaken up.” Fashionably late, but it is the first report of its kind on the matter. When the Post got Naomi on the phone, she commented, “I am sorry, I do not talk to press, but I am fine.”

This is officially where the entire story falls apart. First of all, that the media was able to talk to Naomi by phone is highly suspect considering Naomi’s phone is most likely out of order, probably crushed up between an assistant and a hard place right now.

Also, a model of Naomi’s stature doesn’t strike me as the type that doesn’t have a personal driver at the ready at all times. And if she were to take up a random ride curbside, I doubt she’d be the one raising a finger to signal one done. Naomi doesn’t just hail cabs. Cabs hail Naomi.

So why doesn’t Naomi just come out and call this story a fake? The article claims it’s because Naomi was told keep mum on the mugging since local police are still investigating the circumstances and looking for the assailants. However, there’s apparently no police report filed with French authorities regarding an attack or a case of stolen jewelry, which is what Page Six is guessing the assault was over.

Last detail that doesn’t quite add up here is that there isn’t a person in the world, even a gang of “thugs,” who’d be INSANE enough to attack the unpredictable Naomi. Ms. Campbell, if you’re nasty.


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