’90s Nickelodeon TV Shows We Want Rebooted For Adults
’90s Nickelodeon shows rebooted for adults
They’re rebooting everything now; we’ve come to expect it. And Nickelodeon was bound to be next. So, naturally, Clarissa Explains It All and Legends Of The Hidden Temple are among the scores of remakes already out there. But don’t just redo the show with some other precocious kid and some new high-top sneakers. Because I want an adult Clarissa getting woke and coming face to face with the limitations of her white feminism. And forget preteens. I want the chance to rise up and conquer the damn Hidden Temple myself. Because Nickelodeon helped define millennial childhoods. And the weird and wonderful heart at the center of their shows is what most of all makes these ideas for Nickelodeon shows rebooted for adults a total cultural necessity.Doug Reboot
Literally two nights ago I had a conversation with my friend about what grown-up Doug is like. She argued he’s an incel and I said no, I think he’s a sex-positive cuck. “But Skeeter is a non-binary icon!” she retorted.
“Oh, for sure,” I said, “and Doug would never turn his back on his best buddy.” And thus Millennial Doug was born.
Salute Your Shorts Reboot
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Camp is one of the all-time greatest media subjects. But this time, instead of making it about the campers’ lives, I want a “Salute Your Shorts” that centers around Ug and whatever crazy coterie of counselors he has working for him.
Everyone at camp gets up to some shit, so let’s give the counselors a chance to shine.
The Amanda Show Reboot
I’m aware of what has transpired in the life of Ms. Amanda Bynes in her adult years. But that’s why an “Amanda Show” reboot is such a good idea.
Give Amanda some agency over her own life and let’s watch her, I don’t know, go to therapy and confront the Hollywood people from her past who f—ed up her life so thoroughly. You’d watch that. Don’t deny it.
Nickelodeon Guts Reboot
So much action. So much drama. So much glitter. Even as a decidedly un-athletic child and now as a decidedly un-atheletic adult, I still want a chance to climb the legendary “Guts” Aggro Crag. It simultaneously looks so easy and super hard. But anything so glittery can’t be all that bad.