All The Reasons Why “Star Trek: The Next Generation” Actually Sucks

For sci-fi nerds born in the ‘80s and ‘90s, Star Trek: The Next Generation is a hallmark of true science-fiction television. We grew up with Captain Picard and the crew of the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-D). We explored strange new worlds, sought out new life and new civilizations, and boldly went where no one had gone before.

But when one returns to the series now with a more critical eye… Well, there are certain problems. And you just can’t overlook them. Not even if you love the show.

So here are all the reasons why Star Trek: The Next Generation is the worst Star Trek series. And that’s coming from a die-hard fan.

Those uniforms

For the first few seasons of “The Next Generation,” viewers were treated? to the Starfleet onesie, a 100% spandex monstrosity that was too small, too smelly, and too terrible even for the actors involved. “Star Trek” creator Gene Roddenberry was convinced spandex was the fabric of the future. Apparently, the future is filled with only perfectly toned human specimens who never have to worry about putting on an extra 10 lbs. during the holidays.

The writing

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Roddenberry’s heavy hand during the first season especially gave us a “TNG” that was “forward-thinking,” only because the show told us so. Plots were routinely recycled from the original series, only done in a much worse way.

Nostalgia is one thing, but the sexism and racism put forth in the early years of the series should have remained in the ‘60s.

When it insinuated Joe Piscopo is the greatest comedian in history

In “The Outrageous Okona,” resident crew android Data attempts to explore humor by taking virtual lessons from history’s comedy greats. In the world of “Star Trek,” Joe Piscopo is at the top of this list. Not Richard Pryor. Not George Carlin. Not Lenny Bruce. F—ing Joe Piscopo.

When it tried to pass off a clip show as an actual episode

It’s one thing to throw in a clip show as part of a regular season. With 22-24 episodes per, it’s acceptable to pass it off as the writers needing a break, or the viewers needing a refresher course, or whatever. What isn’t acceptable is to use a clip show as your goddam season finale.

Shame on you, “Shades of Gray” (Jesus, even the title is gag-worthy).