The ‘Peter Rabbit’ Trailer Proves that Sony Wants to Murder Your Childhood

Matthew Loffhagen
Sony Pictures
(Photo: Sony Pictures)

Seriously, Hollywood? You’re making a too-cool-for-school version of Peter Rabbit? The world’s most innocent and adorable children’s series?

What horrible people could possibly have thought that this was a good idea?

Ah. Sony Pictures. Of course.

From the people who brought you The Emoji Movie and Ghostbusters comes yet another attempt to eek ticket sales out of anything that children have even vaguely heard of.

Based on its trailer, the new Peter Rabbit movie is pretty standard fare for Sony – the iconic rabbit now has all the eyebrow-raising “personality” (if it can be called that) of a mid-Naughties Dreamworks character, and will get up to disaster hijinks in a blatant attempt to steal the formula that’s made Paddington Bear a relative success.

Heck, the trailer even rips off the Sideshow Bob rake scene! That’s just not cool!

It’s amazing just how bad Sony is at creating enjoyable films by this point – especially considering how desperately they’re trying.

Were this the work of any other studio, it might be prudent to wait and see exactly what the movie will be like before assuming that it’s going to be garbage. With Sony, though, there’s really very little goodwill left by this point.

But, hey, it’s not like anyone who’s going to see this movie will care much about its quality. Sony has on its hands a beloved children’s character, and that means there’ll be plenty of butts in seats because parents are going to want some way to keep their kids occupied next February.

Peter Rabbit
Source: Sony

Sony will make some quick bucks off Peter Rabbit, but the franchise deserves much more, and honestly, if the studio were to try just a little harder to make something worthwhile, they could actually reverse their current terrible box office performances.

Maybe if, instead of making an edgy and cool Peter Rabbit movie, the studio chose to make something that better fits the source material’s innocent whimsy, this film could prove to be a bigger hit.

Adherence to the children’s books upon which the story is based certainly works for Paddington, so maybe Peter Rabbit should try to be its own thing, rather than copying the success of a different adaptation.

As it is, we’re looking at tolerating at least one Peter Rabbit movie with this bizarre tone. Here’s hoping we don’t get any more.