Why Kate Middleton’s Second Baby Photo Will Be Worth a Fortune

Matt Dekneef

Did you know that 30 years ago Princess Diana was diplomatic enough to pull a Lion King? 

In case you weren’t around the Savannah (London) that hot and fateful day, Princess Di introduced her royal cub to the world by walking him right out of the hospital, into the herds of paparazzi, William in her arms, and held him up Simba-style. She did this so that every outlet could get that “first” shot of William all at the same time, which greatly limited its exclusivity and devalued the photo’s worth. Basically, Diana beat the media at their own game.

The question is will Kate Middleton follow in her late mother-in-law’s footsteps?

E! News has some very vague insight into this query, courtesy of an unnamed “longtime royals watcher,” better known as any random British person on the street. 

“Everyone is going to be racing to get that first picture of William and Kate’s baby. It could be worth millions to outlets around the world,” said the expert in Royals and Stating The Obvious. “It’s the most anticipated baby in years, everyone wants to see that first picture. If any photographer is able to get the first pic, it would be the biggest scoop in the world.”

Considering the hype, chances are Kate will follow in her late mother-in-law’s footsteps and do her best to reduce the going rate for the first baby photo by staging a public viewing party of the crowned child. However, doing so only inflates the going rate of an unofficial second baby photo. It’s a never-ending cycle.

While it most likely won’t be purchased by a U.K. publication, because none of them want to get on the palace’s shady side, the rest of the world is knocking over all their teacups because we’re less civilized.

“Unfortunately, the child will always have a price on his or her head,” the palace expert/probably unemployed person adds. “Every exclusive set of pictures, as that child grows up, could fetch tens of thousands.”

Let’s break down this piece of celebrity arithmetic. Currently the most a publication has ever paid for a celeb’s baby pics were the coveted first photos of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt‘s daughter Shiloh, which was $4.1 million in 2006 and $14 million for their twins in 2008. 

Through deductive reasoning and the celebrity baby calculator that Texas Instruments only manufactures for entertainment bloggers, the basic formula is: 1 Unnamed Royal Baby = 1 Knox and Vivienne Jolie-Pitt ÷ All the Other 1,000,000,000 No-Name Babies Who Will Never Amount to Anything

In other words, Kate Middleton’s baby’s second, third, fourth, fifth photos will be worth more than the 3,000 pages of Angelina’s babies’ entire photo album.

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