Why Simon Pegg Should Not Be Captain Britain

Matthew Loffhagen
Universal
(Photo: Universal)

There’s been a bit of a non-issue bouncing around the internet recently with regards to Simon Pegg and Captain Britain.

First off, yet, there is a superhero called Captain Britain, and he’s exactly what you think he should be based on that name. He’s basically Captain America, but somehow more polite.

Apparently, Pegg is a bit flabbergasted by the internet’s current obsession with the superhero. Rumors have swirled that Pegg might be cast as the character in an upcoming Marvel project.

The star of “Shaun of the Dead” is having none of it. He’s explained in a recent interview just how baseless these rumors are:

“I think somebody asked me recently at an interview that had nothing to do with superheroes. What superhero would I’d like to play. And I just sort of said Captain Britain, because I used to get the Hulk Weekly when I was a kid. And Captain Britain debuted in that. And he’s a British superhero. I used to read the Knights of Pendragon. And I figured that was a good answer. Suddenly, all these rumors popped up. Oh, Simon Pegg wants to play Captain Britain. I don’t really. But you know, I mean, I try to take every job as it comes.  I don’t have any ambition really to be in anything else, other than what I’m in now. If something comes up and it looks good, of course it’ll be fun. I love watching the Marvel films. They’re always so well executed. They’ve done a fantastic job with that sort of extended universe of movies. But I’m happy to be an audience member.”

So, this is a completely pointless debate. Simon Pegg is not playing Captain Britain.

What a relief. I already know who should play Captain Britain, and I’m now going to hijack this debate to make my case.

The True Best Choice for Captain Britain

Ever heard of Alex Pettyfer?

Even if you don’t know the name offhand, you’ve almost certainly heard of stuff he’s been in.

Pettyfer started his movie career by appearing in the British spy movie “Stormbreaker”, which flew pretty far under the radar despite featuring a scene were Alex (Pettyfer’s character name) beats up a bunch of people with nothing but a rope.

Here’s what Pettyfer brings to the table that’s somewhat unique: he comes from a martial arts background. You can’t say that of very many actors working as superheroes at the moment.

If there ever is a Captain Britain in live-action, Pettyfer is perfect. Not only is he tall, blond, and muscular, but he also actually knows how to fight. This alone qualifies him more than most people in Marvel films (and certainly more that Finn Jones).

(Actually, that’s not a bad idea either – Pettyfer would also have been a far better Iron Fist. It’s a shame that ship has already sailed, and indeed, sunk.)

After “Stormbreaker”, Pettyfer showed up in “I Am Number Four”. I’ve seen that movie twice, but I can’t really tell you much about it because it’s so forgettable. There’s a lot of hipster photography, a CGI lizard that turns into a dog, and a finale that feels like it should have come at the mid-point of the scene.

The movie tries to set up a franchise that will never come, so the story doesn’t really end. Instead, Pettyfer’s character drives off on a quest for a more substantial plot.

Regardless, Pettyfer is one of the highlights of the film. He can do the superhero thing, and with a better script and premise, he’d work wonders.

Abs Matter to Marvel

Pettyfer’s biggest claim to fame is “Magic Mike”, and I feel like starring in either of these movies is the perfect audition for a superhero role.

You can’t be a (male) superhero in a Marvel movie unless you can do a hot shirtless scene, after all.

Now, look, I know that a Captain Britain movie isn’t exactly the top of Marvel’s priority list.

I also feel that Marvel has plenty of heroes that aren’t blond white men that need their own films more than this wannabe Chris Evans replacement. Give me a Ms Marvel or an Ironheart movie and I’ll be far happier.

But, if Marvel is looking to make Captain Britain a reality, it’s got to be Alex Pettyfer.

Thus concludes my rant. You may return to pondering something that actually has any relevance in the real world.