Ryan Reynolds Attached to Produce Stoner-Themed ‘Home Alone’ Remake

Matthew Loffhagen
20th Century Fox
(Photo: 20th Century Fox)

Ryan Reynolds is slated to star in a remake of “Home Alone”, which will instead be titled “Stoned Alone”.

Sigh. What a day.

I feel like you probably know everything you need to know about the movie’s premise. Reynolds will play a stoner, who is home alone with a big bag of weed, when some analogue for the Wet Bandits try to break into his house.

Honestly, I had to check this story three times while writing to make sure that it’s definitely Ryan Reynolds that’s appearing in the lead role. This feels so much like a James Franco project that I assumed I’d just been misreading something.

There’s no denying that there’s something special and unique within the “Home Alone” core concept. Frankly I’m surprised that we’ve gone as long as we have without another attempt at rebooting the series. It’s been a long time since the “Home Alone 3” that nobody bothered to watch.

I’m worried that changing the lead character of the movie will rob this of much of its fun.

Missing The Point

The appeal of “Home Alone” involves seeing a very adorable Macaulay Culkin attempt to murder complete strangers with a series of elaborate traps.

There are two big problems with turning this into a stoner comedy.

Firstly, making the main character a grown-up robs the premise of a lot of its catharsis. It’s fun to see a kid get back at adults by using his childlike creativity. When a grown man attempts the same thing, everything feels a lot more sadistic.

The second problem with this movie is the inclusion of weed. Good luck building any kind of complex, clever security system while hammered.

An accurate version of the movie would involve Reynolds’ character giggling uncontrollably while the Wet Bandits walk brazenly into his living room and carry the TV slowly out of his sight.

Nevertheless, I get the sense that this movie isn’t exactly going to be built around an attempt to invoke the childish spirit of the original.

Missing The Point is The Point

This is a film for slacker stoners to laugh at while getting jazzed themselves. It doesn’t need to be overly clever or even all that funny, because its intended audience will be bringing their own amusement.

I just hope this doesn’t kill the potential for another straight “Home Alone” sequel.

I’d quite like to see Macaulay Culkin (who is not as washed-up as you think) reprise his role as Kevin McAllister as some kind of mentor figure for a new kid.

It’d give audiences some nice closure after “Home Alone 2” became uncomfortably synonymous with Donald Trump.