So it’s come to this. We’re getting another “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” reboot.
If you’re wondering why, I have no insight. Except that Paramount Pictures and Michael Bay’s production company both really, really like money.
Just two years after the release of “TMNT: Out of the Shadows”, Paramount has hired a new writer, Andrew Dodge, to come up with a script for a new fresh take on the familiar formula.
It’s a tale as old as time. Turtles meet toxic waste. Disgusting rat man meets turtles. Also Megan Fox is occasionally in the mix too.
The big question is whether this new movie will be any more worthwhile than the last two.
Or, indeed, any of the Turtles movies. Sorry, ‘90s kids, your nostalgia for “Secret of the Ooze” might be a little misplaced.
The Spider Connection
It’s funny to me how the most recent Ninja Turtles franchise had so much in common with “The Amazing Spider-Man”. The first “TMNT” film even ends in a similar way, with a rooftop battle that decides whether a genetic poison is released into the atmosphere.
Now, “TMNT” is copying the “Amazing Spider-Man” formula yet again, by instantly rebooting the franchise at the first sign of trouble.
I wonder if this new movie will make us sit through an origin story yet again, or if, alternatively, we’ll be getting a more “Spider-Man: Homecoming” style movie where the tone is kept light and fluffy, and the Turtles are never really challenged by anything that might potentially lower the tone.
Certainly, I think it might be a little soon for us to be getting yet another version of the Heroes in a Half-Shell.
I’m also apprehensive about Michael Bay’s continued involvement. Because Michael Bay.
That said, perhaps the team at Bay’s production studio have learned their lesson from the fan backlash against their movies thus far.
Perhaps we’ll get softer, cuddlier Turtles, a Shredder that lives up to the name, and a direction style that doesn’t objectify April O’Neill at every available opportunity.
(This is supposed to be a kid’s movie!)
Perhaps this is a long shot, but there could be merit to reworking the “Turtles” movie brand to bring it closer in line with the classic cartoon.
I don’t think this is a movie that the world needs right now, and I think it’s being made for some very shallow, greedy purposes. But, then, that’s the movie industry in general.
As unnecessary as this film may be, I’m going to stay optimistic that maybe, just maybe, the new film will actually be watchable.
It’s a longshot, but this movie might just work.