To quote Chef Gordon Ramsay (probably): "Come f**king on!"

Accidentally creating a portal to hell—the greatest cooking fail of all

Really shouldn't have opened that passage to hell

An insult to tacos and spaghetti

On the plus side, you can always start a hockey puck business

When you need your egg to be perfectly flat

*RAMSAY SMASH*

You don't deserve nachos

It's called a colander

Wait 30 freaking seconds, Garfield!

It's not delivery, it's a waste of $4

Who gave you a microwave?!

A pan, man. A pan!

Never set foot in a kitchen. Ever again.

I hope you've got a step ladder

Okay, in a zombie apocalypse-like pinch, this is pretty brilliant. But since there are no walking dead roaming the planet—WRONG!

You had one job

Fish and chips and glass shards

When your chicken explodes, I'd say it's time to take it off the flame

You think it's done yet?

I hope your children are as terrified by your attempt at cuteness as I am

Cookie Monster is finally actually scary

Boiling noodles is like the preschool of cooking

Just give up, now
