To quote Chef Gordon Ramsay (probably): "Come f**king on!"
Accidentally creating a portal to hell—the greatest cooking fail of all
Really shouldn't have opened that passage to hell
An insult to tacos and spaghetti
On the plus side, you can always start a hockey puck business
When you need your egg to be perfectly flat
You don't deserve nachos
It's called a colander
Wait 30 freaking seconds, Garfield!
It's not delivery, it's a waste of $4
Who gave you a microwave?!
A pan, man. A pan!
Never set foot in a kitchen. Ever again.
I hope you've got a step ladder
Okay, in a zombie apocalypse-like pinch, this is pretty brilliant. But since there are no walking dead roaming the planet—WRONG!
You had one job
Fish and chips and glass shards
When your chicken explodes, I'd say it's time to take it off the flame
You think it's done yet?
I hope your children are as terrified by your attempt at cuteness as I am
Cookie Monster is finally actually scary
Boiling noodles is like the preschool of cooking
Just give up, now