I have a very important question for the world’s vegetarians. And I’m truly interested in your answers. So here it is: Why are you a vegetarian?
Now, don’t get me wrong. Because I do want to applaud you for being so steadfast in your decision to not enjoy the delicious foods life has to offer. That must take serious dedication and discipline. And not many people are able to have that level of self control. So although I admit your meatless life journey is inspiring, I must ask: Y tho?
Seriously, why? Why are you a vegetarian?
Meat is just, like, so delicious. I love and crave it all the time. And maybe part of that is because I’m a glutton. But there is just something about meat-eating that feels so right. I know what you’re thinking. “What about the animals?” Well, I love animals more than you and your mom combined, I bet. But even animals eat meat. And I bet if you gave a tiger a burger, it would keep coming back. An animal-style cheeseburger from In-N-Out would cause mass chaos in the Sahara.
I hope one day you come back to your senses and order a pulled-pork sandwich. Because I think that will cure you of vegetarianism really quickly.
Anyway, please write to me or leave a comment explaining your choices. But you don’t feel up to it, I understand. I’m sure you’re exhausted from just reading this. It must be hard to find the energy to do anything without getting protein from meat.