This is the story of Andrew Hawryluk, Chipotle's official #1 customer.
The first four numbers above all add up. Andrew has been eating nothing but Chipotle for going on half a year now. He's spent the price of a mid-tier laptop on the caloric equivalent of two Matt Stonie food stunts, all at a single fast food food chain.
It's the last number that should be bullshit, and yet it's not — this is a selfie of Andrew's midsection:
— I want to comment on the potential doucheyness of a photo like this. But I can't. If the area between my nose and penis looked like that, I'd be taking pictures too. Carry on, Andrew, you've earned it.
The metabo-freak's orders vary, but he's dubbed his go-to chicken bowl The Impeccabowl. Not actually referencing his own chest, its a combination of ingredients (chicken, white rice, guac, etc.) that fits his preferred nutrient ratios. So 'eating fast food every day for five months' doesn't really describe this diet. More like 'eating a scientifically optimized meal everyday to look like Adonis'. It goes without saying that he also works out several times a week.
You can track Andrew's ongoing war on stomach fat at Chipotlife, where he's keeping the streak alive for the foreseeable future.
In the meantime, hit the gym. We've got some catching up to do.