Kids say the darnedest things ... when they're trying to come up with an excuse to reject a meal Mom or Dad has gone to the trouble to assemble for them. Here are some of the funniest reasons picky eaters have given for turning down food, shared by their parents on Instagram.
"Because it's too hot."
Swing and a miss.
"Because I farted on it and now it's a fart muffin."
So many questions.
"Because it has legs."
True. And kinda creepy.
“Because it looks like a booty.”
Just because it looks like a booty doesn't mean it tastes like ass.
"Because they don't have heads."
Ahh, the yummiest part of the Teddy Graham, according to toddlers who grow up to be serial killers.
"Because I don't want to be eaten."
All the more reason to eat it before it does the same to you.
"Because it will kill me."
Oh you DON'T like murderous plate clowns?
"Because there's a hole in it ... that I put there."
What a waffle thing to do.
"Because the honey looks like a rabbit and I don't want to wreck it."
That's what Instagram is for.
"Because they're all cracked open like Humpty Dumpty and I can't eat things that are broken, because they might break me. And no one would be able to put me together again."
Sound logic here.
"Because there's ice on my Popsicle."
A side effect of the freezing process that's unfortunately necessary for Popsicles to exist.
"Because they have toes."
Dammit, the kid's right. I'll never look at crimped foods the same way again.
"Because shells belong in the ocean."
If "the ocean" is another word for Mom and Dad's mouths.
"Because there are too many colors and it hurts my eyes."
Might wanna get that checked out.
"Because my bacon looks like a shrimp."
Yeah but I bet if it was shrimp-shaped ice cream you'd be all over it.
"Because the ice cream is melting and the gummy bears are drowning!"
Soooounds like you wanna see this gummy bear die?
“Because the pizza is cut in squares not triangles and square pizza is too fancy.”
As a New Yorker, I'm kind of on board with this.
“Because I don’t eat chicken legs. Only nuggets and boobs.”
"Only nuggets and boobs" sounds like an eighth grader's rap album.
"Because a lion touched it."
RAAAWRRen't you hungry?
"Because it's too beautiful."
I bet it tastes even better than it looks.
"Because you put lotion all over the carrots."
What, and have sunburned carrots?
"Because it's too grilled."
Then I'm having that damn near perfectly grilled grilled cheese.
"Because it looks like a stocking and I want to hang it by the fireplace."
Rookie mistake, kid. At least if you want anything good in your stocking.