Sweet Potato Fries Suck. They Are They Ugly Stepsister Of French Fries. And I Can Prove It.

Lindsay Weglarz
(Photo: gregfly.com)

Dude, sweet potato fries suck. What a waste of plate space. They are clearly a “healthy” food trying to disguise themselves as cool junk food. It’s so obvious. I see through all your lies, sweet potato fries! You need to GTFO.

I’ll admit it: I have given sweet potato fries a shot before. More than once, even. My friends kept telling me, “They taste just like regular fries.” And, “Girl, you need to expand your palette.” But I’m not a baby, OK? I spent my baby and elementary school years expanding my palette. Do you know how many times my parents tried to make me like bologna? It’s not that I have a limited taste range. I just know which foods taste disgusting. And one of those foods is sweet potato fries.

Are sweet potato fries even fries? No. Just no.

It is just so wrong to even call them fries. Like, that gives fries a terrible reputation. And French fries are delicious. They are always crispy, and the potato on the inside crumbles and melts in your mouth like butter. But sweet potato fries are just mushy on the inside. They’re like someone fried a jar of baby food. And if a food doesn’t even taste good after being fried? Then you know it’s nasty in its original form. (Don’t even get me started on zucchini sticks.)

Sweet Potato fries suck

One time, I got sweet potato wedges. Because I thought maybe those would taste better. I thought they would be less soggy in the middle and hold up nicely when I dipped them in Thousand Island Dressing. But I was wrong, so wrong about the wedges. It was just more nasty, healthy potato I to chew through. They were also kind of limp, so my sauce fell off. I literally had to use a fork and knife to eat them if I wanted my “fries” to stay sauced. Fries, with a fork and knife? I can never go back to that IHOP.

sweet potato fries suck

Look, eat a stupid salad if you want to eat healthy. If you want to eat fries, do the right thing and support the real deal. French fries are the No. 1 side to any burger or sandwich. Sweet potato fries suck, and there is no room on my plate for them anymore.

sweet potato fries suck