Hey, everyone. We need to talk. It’s about Sezchuan sauce.
This weekend saw a not entirely unexpected mad dash of chaotic fast food stockchecking, as fans of Rick and Morty across the United States did everything in their power to get hold of the elusive Szechuan McNugget dipping sauce.
As it turns out, McDonald’s sinister plan to release this sauce for one day only was even more inherently evil than we’d anticipated, as ridiculously low stock levels meant that the vast majority of Rick and Morty fans who were desperate to get their hands on some sweet, sweet Szechuan sauce goodness were denied their greatest wish.
Put simply, there just wasn’t nearly enough of this stuff to go around, and while for once there was an actual perk to being a McDonald’s employee, the majority of customers ended up leaving disappointed.
— & (@zeLrsn) October 7, 2017
In the fallout from this disaster, fans of Rick and Morty have been quick to point out the dastardly tactics that McDonald’s is using to keep their brand at the heart of controversy. While some are campaigning to see the sauce return yet again to restaurants, others are more concerned with why McDonald’s isn’t producing nearly enough sauce to begin with.
The logical conclusion seems to be that McDonald’s is deliberately, artificially limiting the amount of Szechuan goodness that’s entering circulation. The burger chain is in a comfortable position, because the Szechuan boom is centered solely around brand recognition – if, for example, Burger King were to release a knock-off sauce, nobody would care.
So, McDonald’s keeps stock levels low to keep people in a fever-pitch, desperately seeking out a foodstuff that is unfathomably rare. The more people complain, the more they’re talking about McDonald’s, even in a negative light. No matter how mad you are that you’ve driven around four McDonald’s restaurants looking for Szechuan sauce, by the time you give up on your search, you’re likely to forgive the restaurant’s stock levels and just order a Big Mac anyway.
Is this a strategy that works? Well, you’re reading this article, aren’t you? We’re all talking about McDonald’s, and that means that the restaurant is being discussed by that difficult Millennial demographic that they’ve been struggling to capture.
SZECHUAN SAUCE» Fans react to McDonald’s employee informing the crowd they do not have enough sauce for everyone. pic.twitter.com/3B1DOk5kYb
— UCF Knight News (@UCFKnightNews) October 7, 2017
So what’s the solution?
Well, maybe we should all collectively give up on ever tasting Szechuan sauce. After all, this is all one big manipulative effort to control us, from start to finish. Nostalgia for this sauce is entirely artificial, and the taste is never going to live up to what we’re expecting.
Maybe we’re all better off giving up our search for this rarest of rare Rick and Morty experiences. Maybe it’s time to stop playing McDonald’s game, and get our sci-fi cartoon fast food kicks elsewhere instead.
Yep. You should probably stop trying to find Szechuan sauce. Stop looking, stop caring, move on with your life.
That way there’ll be plenty left for dumb, lazy food news writers the next time McDonald’s brings their Rick and Morty nostalgia food back in teeny tiny quantities. Thanks in advance.