20 Pinterest Appetizers That You Will Never Ever Be Able to Replicate

Take your tweezers and apply the quinoa one by one. Now take your balsamic syringe… (Image via Pinterest)

Haha, I burst out laughing when I saw this. You have no chance of being able to roll up cucumber like it’s a poster! (Image via Pinterest)

Finally, rub down your Scottish slate platter with sea salt water and cascade your leftover organic Thanksgiving Tuscan capers and voila! (Image via Pinterest)

There is so much scope to f**k this up. Those peppers would roll like canoes on choppy water as soon as I lumped my scummy burnt cheese on them. (Image via Pinterest)

It almost looks likes like angel wings protruding from a rich moist land. Yours will certainly look smashed bits of unicorn heaped up in a neglected pond. (Image via Pinterest)

Now sprinkle the chives. No! That’s not sprinkly enough! Pick them up! Yes, all of them. No, don’t just move them around! It should look like you just threw them into the air like confetti! (Image via Pinterest)

Would you like some creepy little cubes? Yes, I have a very small child that applies my mint for me. (Image via Pinterest)

Next, take your Troll curling iron…. (Image via Pinterest)

That russet golden brown color is like an eclipse. It appears for a moment and then it disappears. (Image via Pinterest)

You need to have very specific matching glasses for this. Putting one in an Ikea wine glass, another in a USC coffee mug, and another in a Guinness glass that you stole from a bar on St. Patrick’s Day isn’t going to cut it. (Image via Pinterest)

This looks like a “Doctor Who” monster, i.e. pathetic and completely non-threatening. (Image via Pinterest)

This is the person that just throws together whatever they have in the fridge then turns up to a potluck and annihilates everyone’s sloppy mac and cheese and tinned chili. I hate this person. (Image via Pinterest)

Adding the word bites at the end implies casual simplicity. The engineering involved in this dish completely rules out anyone with remotely sausage-esque fingers. (Image via Pinterest)

Mmm, the ultimate 15 second amuse-bouche! Some sweet potato on top of a Pringle with some cheese and seeds slapped on top. (Image via Pinterest)

Salmon? Really? I’m not eating that, dude. (Image via Pinterest)

Look at it mocking you. The unattainable beauty. Lying on her piece of crunchy bread like a supermodel draped over a motorcycle, the sea salt (her tattoos), the Chervil (her skimpy bikini). (Image via Pinterest)

Even if you managed to Mr. Whippy that s**t out of there, there is absolutely no way you’re going to drop those chives where they’re meant to go. No chance, Ramsay. (Image via Pinterest)

Tiny soups or enormous person and gigantic ladles of normal soup portions? (Image via Pinterest)

Even if you manage to do everything correctly you won’t be able to get that soft focus or those earthy tones, and your efforts will mean nothing. If you can’t take a hipster photograph of your food then it probably looked and tasted like s**t. (Image via Pinterest)

These don’t look very good. I think you could probably make these. (Image via Pinterest)