These Teens Got Kicked Out Of Their Prom For Dancing That Was Deemed 'Too Provocative'

Clare and James were finally ready. It took hours of glancing at mirrors, clouds of hairspray, layers of makeup, and plenty of “two more minutes,” but Clare had made it out the door on time. It had taken Clare seventeen years to get to “Twilight in Paris,” her first home schooled prom. They looked great and felt even better. James was nearly more excited than she was, making sure to get tickets well in advance. Clare squeezed James’ hand, gleeful at the thoughts of meeting all their friends. They were sure that this would be a night to remember.

There’s nothing more difficult than a teenage girl choosing the perfect outfit. Pictures create lifetime evidence of fashion faux pas. Social events make or break social standing. Clare spent weeks skimming through rails of mesh, silk, chiffon, cotton, wool, leather, denim – yes, denim – sequins, glitter, beads. Finally, she found her dress—a silver glittered piece that she found in Macy’s. The cocktail dress fit like it was made for her. She felt beautiful. But not everyone agreed. 

Clare worked hard. She was determined to find the perfect outfit, but her bank account said otherwise. For months she saved, putting every penny from tips aside and after six different shopping trips, she found one she could afford. But the perfect dress had to pass one crucial hurdle—the notorious fingertip test. She signed, praying the hem fell below her fingertip, then relaxed both arms so her side as she studied herself in the large mirror. 

The dress code was simple—semi-formal at a fingertip length—for females only, of course. She had signed the registration form and had to rehang countless dresses due to the length. She felt the glitter scratch her hands. She turned to the side. The dress made the cut, although at a close call. But that didn’t stop everyone from pushing things too far.

“I’m all dolled up, channelling my inner Marilyn Monroe with my blonde hair and bright red lipstick,” Clare shared the night on her sister’s blog. But before this Cinderalla made her debut, one final test was needed. This time around, the results came in a bit shorter than expected.

Clare wanted to follow the rules of this event. So, she slipped on her heels and had one final check before leaving home. To her horror, the hem of her gown dangled desperately close to her fingertips. Any long stride, bend, or dance move would pull the hem centimetres up her thigh. She had a plan—short steps and graceful movements. But as soon as she walked up the steps to the Methodist Church hosted dance, a figure blocked her entrance.

Administration saw the glitter sparkling from down the road. She was stopped her in her path. “Honey, that dress is too short,” Ann Duncan declared. Clare went red as attendees stopped to witness her entry being denied. She worked hard for this night and wasn’t going to back down from an organiser that easily. “What’s the rule?” Clare felt bold, finding a new confidence in her elegance.

“Fingertip length!” Mrs. Duncan’s eyebrows shot up her forehead as she tilted her head back. Clare defended her attire, explaining how her tall stature and long legs only made the dress appear shorter than others. But Mrs. Duncan refused to accept this and announced that her dress was far too short and inappropriate. Clare would have to fight her way past the fashion police. 

Clare refused to back down. She turned around and demonstrated to the crowd around them that her outfit did indeed pass the fingertip test. Mrs. Duncan crossed her arms and stepped to the side. Begrudgingly, she watched Clare walk up the step to the ballroom. “Make sure it says down.” She shouted at Clare. But that wasn’t the end of this battle.

Clare was shocked. “When I got into the ballroom I laughed, because I was surrounded by girls in much shorter dresses than me, albeit they were shorter, and therefore stood out less in the crowd, but it was still frustrating.” Clare was ready to put the terrible incident to the side to finally celebrate her big night. She found her friends, got a drink, and began to share the tale when they noticed something sinister above them. 

James described the dance as “pretty awkward.” Compared to previous years, the event was over-chaperoned. Many were just standing around talking, few were actually on the dancefloor. And the most peculiar thing was the group of fathers and chaperones gawking at them all from the balcony above. Were disco balls gone out of fashion?

Clare was uncomfortable, “I felt violated by the sheer number of male parents that were assigned to do nothing for five hours other than watch girls in short dresses and heels dance to upbeat music.” Her friends felt judged. “I think that it is sick and wrong that they assigned them to sit on a balcony above us and look down on us and single us out for our clothes or dancing.” Clare and James refused to let an audience ruin their night. But Mrs. Duncan was on her way, clearing a warpath. She was determined to ruin their night.

Mrs. Duncan escorted Clare off the dance floor. Clare recounted the unease, “She took me into a corner in the hallway with another woman – who I’m assuming was a parent chaperone – and told me that some of the dads who were chaperoning had complained that was dancing was too provocative and that I was going to cause young men at the prom to think impure thoughts.” Clare was with friends and her boyfriend. It seemed like the only ones having impure thoughts were the dads. And they didn’t stop there.

There was more implied that “impure thoughts.” Their comments put forward the idea that Clare was “asking for it,” a common opinion regarding sexual assault victims. Would Clare have to spend her life covering her body to avoid the male gaze? Was she responsible for the thoughts of creepy men and teenage boys?  According to the school, yes, she was. But she refused to accept this horrific culpability. She was ready to fight back.

Understandably, Clare tried to defend herself. She explained to Mrs. Duncan that she had yet to even hit the dance floor with her friends before once again showing her that her dress complied with the dress code. “I never signed any documentation agreeing to adhere to any sort of dress code, and the dress code that was verbally communicated to me was followed to the letter,” Clare stated. Her friends ran to her aid, confirming their lack of movement but Mrs. Duncan wouldn’t listen and snapped right back saying “it was none of their business.” That was the last straw for James. 

James had enough of the abuse. “That’s fine, she wasn’t doing anything wrong but if you’re kicking her out then the group that she came with is leaving too and you’ll need to refund all of our tickets,” he demanded. Their small group quickly asked for their $25. But $25 was hardly adequate compensation for Clare’s ordeal? She had a better idea.

James remained polite and respectful, but his negotiations with Mrs. Duncan failed miserably. There was no budging this iron lady. James demanded to see the prom’s manager. Then Mrs. Duncan saw red. “I will not debate with you about this,” she spat at him. James refused to back down to a bully, but then Mrs Duncan went to settle this once and for all.

Mrs. Duncan rallied security. Clare and James were heartbroken as they were escorted from the property. Once the first tear escaped, a waterfall followed. “I was told that the way I dressed and moved my body was causing men to think inappropriately about me, implying that it is my responsibility to control other people’s thoughts and drives,” Clare was a blossoming young woman, and she was curvier than most of the girls in there. But she wasn’t about to let it go that easily.

"I asked the security guy if my dress was compliant with the dress code and if he had noticed any inappropriateness in my behaviour and he said he didn’t think I did anything to get kicked out but it wasn’t his call," Clare shared online. Despite James’ fight to get their refunds, only Clare received her money. Her friends and boyfriend were left empty handed and dressed up with nowhere to go.

Clare went on to describe the horrible experience, “we walked out of prom, frustrated and angry and feeling very disrespected and violated.” Thankfully, Clare had friends to help her through the nightmare. And she knew others would join her cause. She got to her computer and began to blow the whistle on the night. Women from all over the word heard and rallied with her.

An army formed to support Clare. They spammed the Facebook page of the Richmond Homeschool Prom, sharing their disgust for the way Clare was targeted. The administration went on to delete all of the comments, before choosing to delete their page, rather than facing their mistakes. But one person is sticking by their decision. 

“The whole situation made me feel violated, walked over, and ostracized.” Clare couldn’t help but feel hurt. "How is it that what I look like and how I dress constitutes the level of respect you give me?" But when CBS news looked to follow up, Mrs. Duncan had the other side of the story to tell. 

Mrs. Duncan explained that the dress may have stuck by the dress code, but the spandex material caused the dress to ride up every time Clare moved. “It was right below her butt cheeks by the time I saw her,” Mrs. Duncan shared. And although she never saw Clare dance, and disputed the father’s staring at her. "There were 500 kids there, so to be able to even say what they were looking at would be really difficult." But Clare refused to be silenced, and released video footage of the encounter with Mrs. Duncan. 

Clare couldn’t believe what happened after being kicked out. "I was informed by more than one friend who stayed at the prom throughout the course of the evening that there was some truly dirty dancing and that there were several couples making out and grinding on the dance floor, and yet out of a group of 500 people, only one person, got thrown out for inappropriate dancing." Clare shared her story online and was even booked for interviews.

Clare couldn’t help but feel targeted for being more voluptuous than other students. "This is a message to girls built like me, who can’t find jeans that fit! The girls with long legs, who are forced to prove that their dresses fit the dress code, just because they have more leg showing then most girls." Instead of feeling embarrassed, Clare now feels empowered and more confident than ever before. 

But Clare found some details harder to forget than others. "I'm not responsible for some perverted 45 years old dad lusting after me because I have a sparkly dress on. And if you think I am, then maybe you're part of the problem." The internet has stuck by Clare, encouraging her to speak the truth and own her body. “Enough with the slut shaming,” Clare demanded.

Clare’s nightmare experience has since gone viral. The media have picked up on her story, and the world has stood by her every step of the way. But neither Richmond Homeschool Prom nor the chaperones have reached out to comment on what happened. "We were verbally promised a full refund for our group, we received only a refund for my ticket, they need to refund 5 more tickets for our group," Clare reiterated. But they refused to listen. 

Regardless of the fact that the committee refuses to comment and Clare’s friends have yet to be compensated, Clare refuses to forget what happend. She hopes her story will bring attention to the unfair judgement of young women. Hopefully, this incident will make other schools rethink dress codes focused primarily on females. But Clare’s story brings a worrying question to light.

With reality television shows setting a precedent of acceptable behaviour, and celebrities dictating the fashion industry, has mainstream culture sexualised young women? Does more skin mean more attractive? Should parents dictate their children’s clothes and make them a mockery among peers? All parents can do is encourage their children to dress how they feel, but also remind them that less is sometimes more.