When your friends start having kids, you may try inserting yourself into their weird new lives. And you may find yourself showing up with gifts for their gross drool angels. But, fortunately for you, you’re still living a blissfully childless life. So you probably have no idea how traumatizing and exhausting some toys can be for parents. To help avoid the eternal fury of your kid-having friends, here’s a look at some especially awful toys parents hate.
This shit is horrific. End of story. Not only does this gelatinous devils work look and feel like the mucus of 1,000 trolls during cold season, but it will cling to everything it comes even remotely close to like a teenage girl clings to a boyfriend she doesn’t particularly trust. Best-case scenario when this amorphous germ nightmare enters your house is that it will simply ooze about, collecting every fleck of dirt and pet hair and food it can find until it has transformed from a strange, gross, green slimeball into horrible, grey, chunky slimeball. Worst-case scenario: It gets on your rug or couch or winter jacket and destroys it.