Cops Share the Most Insane Excuses that Turned Out to be True

Police officers have the hard task of determining whether people are lying to them or not when it comes to breaking the law. Some of the excuses are so bizarre that we’re sure they’ve heard it all. And that’s kind of why we’re here today.

We’ve gotten stories from some naturally skeptical police officers who have been proven wrong with their assumptions. From owls in windscreens to the ashes of dead cats, these are bizarre excuses that turned out to be true.

Smelly Evidence

I was on duty once when I saw a speeding car. When I caught up to the driver, I asked him why he was driving so quickly. He flat-out told me that he had to go number two.

I didn’t believe him…not until I took a whiff of some really bad diarrhea wafting up from the driver’s seat. I gave him a warning and wished him good luck.

Up the Where?

I pulled over a guy and arrested him for an active warrant and a suspended license. I noticed a look of extreme discomfort on his face while I was talking to my partner.

This guy was a known dealer, so I made the assumption that he put drugs up his rear end. 

I then asked him the obvious question “do you have narcotics up your you know where?” Squirming, he said no, it wasn’t drugs.

After telling him that it would be recovered at the jail, he let me know he had a “plug.” While handcuffed he removed a 13-inch apparatus from his you-know-where and attempted to hand it to me.

I asked him why? He told me that his wife is very rough on him with and he was trying to be proactive by loosening up before getting home.

Owl You Seeing This?

We were responding to a call about a crash one night: a woman was driving and crashed into a tree on the way home.

Most people usually have an excuse, and this time hers was that an owl flew into her vehicle, making her swerve off the road and into a tree. When I went into the car to move it for the tow truck, an owl flew past my face and out of the window.

A Dangerous Leak

I saw a car run a red light while speeding. After pulling it over, the woman explained that her breast implant had burst. So, I called EMS to rush her to the hospital. It turns out it did in fact burst, which was very dangerous when leaking.