After The Hawaii Missile Scare, Pornhub Had Some Hilarious Data To Share

Joe Welkie
hawaiian missile scare caused weird pornhub activity
(Photo: The New York Times)

What would you do if you thought your life was going to end? You’d probably want to spend it with your loved ones. You’d probably go see your family, or at least give them a call. Well, what if that life-threatening scare turned out to be just that — a scare? You’d probably do something radically different, right? Well, the Hawaiian missile scare caused weird Pornhub activity. But the stats actually make total sense if you think about it.

The Hawaiian missile scare led to more people than ever hopping on Pornhub

Yep, Pornhub did a study of the data they received after the crisis, and it turns out immediately after Hawaiians knew they were safe, they were more than happy to check out some naked people bumping uglies.

However, in the period where the crisis was in full effect, almost no one was on the site. Which goes to show that at least there is some morality left in the world.

The Hawaiian missile scare led to more people than ever hopping on Pornhub

What an incredible swing from -77% to +48%. I can’t really blame the people of Hawaii though. If you thought your life was going to come to a screeching halt, you’d need to get some stress off your chest as well.

The Hawaiian missile scare led to more people than ever hopping on Pornhub

Nothing quite takes the edge off from a missile threat quite like some porn, am I right? Kind of makes you wonder if the whole thing wasn’t orchestrated by Pornhub itself in order to drive up traffic…hmm…conspiracy theorists, hop on this thought!

The Hawaiian missile scare led to more people than ever hopping on Pornhub

Luckily everyone was safe and could enjoy films of their favorite nude people. What a wonderful world we live in.