People Share the Most Absurd Ways That They’ve Ever Been Dumped
Breaking up is hard to do. Even when two people agree that they’d be better off apart, it can be hard to find the right way to break it off gently. And sometimes a break up can be the best way to find out that the person you’ve known for years is actually a total psycho.
Whether they happened too late or just in the nick of time, these break ups were nothing if not memorable.
Manic Pixie Dream Girl
I’ve talked about this before, but she said that bees can only fly “because they think they can” and I explained that, no, there’s actually a physical reason they can fly.
A few days later she broke up with me because I make her world “less magical.”
American Psycho
During my freshman year in high school, my boyfriend at the time broke up with me because “I was too poor for him”. A year before we started dating, the company my dad had worked for for 20 years went bankrupt; every single employee lost their job. He was unemployed for two years.
Actively seeking, astounding recommendations from previous employers, just no degree.
He refused to go to my house because it “made him feel claustrophobic”. My house is roughly 2,000 sq. feet, with vaulted ceilings. It’s not a mansion by any means, but it’s not puny either. He didn’t understand why I didn’t get a brand new car for my birthday like he did.
I didn’t even have my license, not to mention we couldn’t afford it.
That’s when I realized just how entitled he was. His father died when he was really young, and they got a metric ton of money from it. His mom made a lot of money from her job, so they were REALLY well off. He didn’t understand why other people would “choose not to be rich”.
Apparently he told his mom about our breakup a week later or so because she called me crying and apologizing for her son’s horrible behavior. She felt horrible that he ended a year-long relationship because of my parent’s income.
Memory Loss
I had been dating a baseball player for a little over 2 years, and at one of his games, he got hit in the head with a baseball and got amnesia. Completely forgot who I was.
I tried explaining what happened, but he just couldn’t seem to understand. I was trying to be gentle and see if he would remember on his own, but when he didn’t I just told him we were together. He looked me up and down and said, “I wouldn’t date somebody like you,” and walked away.
I tried contacting him, but he completely cut me off. Weirdest and hardest break-up ever.
Legally Blonde
He phoned me, met me for coffee, sat me down and said — in a very serious voice: “I’m sorry. I don’t think we can carry on seeing each other. And it’s because you’re blonde.
And even though I like you a lot, but I just envisage my future with a brunette.”
Especially funny because 1) We’d only known each other 2 weeks, 2) We’d only slept together once, 3) My blonde hair is dyed and I’m actually a brunette.