People Recount The Strangest Secrets That They Have Never Shared

Sometimes the only way to feel relief after keeping a secret for years is to finally tell someone. Whether it’s a traumatic event that you’d rather not relive or a family secret that’s been trapped in your mind for decades, some secrets are better out in the open where they can finally be reasoned with, dealt with and forgotten.

These real-life stories were shared online by people who just couldn’t keep their secrets to themselves anymore. Some of them had huge personal secrets that they just couldn’t hide any longer, while others just needed to get a few embarrassing moments off of their chests.

And the only way they could share their unique stories was anonymously online.

No One Knows that I Ripped the Couch

I was about eight or so and sitting on the couch watching TV with my hamster. I stopped paying attention, and before I knew it he had wandered off and had crawled between the cushions into the interior of the couch. I could hear him in there and had to get him out.

He was my best bro and wasn’t going to go out like that. I got scared and didn’t want to get in trouble, so my childhood head thought the best idea was to cut into the back of the couch right by the frame to get him out.

To my surprise, I was able to lure him out through the hole fairly quickly with some crumbled cheeze-its, but was left with a 6” square hole entirely cut into the couch back.

Not being a child seamstress with the ability to repair this, my only option was to push the couch back against the wall and deal with it when my dad wanted to rearrange the furniture.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago (I’m 30 now), and my dad is downsizing and selling off furniture he no longer needs, what with all the kids out of the house. The hole was finally found…20 years later.

He is in Texas and I’m in California, so when he told me on the phone, even now in adulthood, “I went to donate the couch, and there’s a massive hole in the back” my childhood memories and panic came flooding back.

Before the adult reason in me thought it through, I muttered, “Oh so weird…wonder how that happened.” No one knows that I did this, and I kind of love it.

Story credit: Reddit / betuwont

I Found Evidence of Cheating

I know my girlfriend is cheating. I’ve been with this girl for over a year, and she is the first girl I’ve ever had unprotected intimacy with because I “trusted” her. But around June, I found a condom wrapper in the baseboard of my bed.

I brought it up to her and she instantly had an excuse and didn’t seem to be nervous and she is terrible at lying on the spot.

So we moved on and forgot about it. Then in July, I found a receipt for the cinema in my car. I didn’t say anything though because I thought I’d wait until something else comes up so I have enough to confront her with.

Mid to late June comes around, and I was cleaning my car to go visit some family. I keep my car quite clean, but this time there were a few papers and water bottles and such, just general rubbish.

When I was vacuuming the back floor, I found two pieces of the corners of condom wrappers. Now, I am a very reasonable guy. I don’t get angry easily and I take all information on board before I get angry.

But she had been using my car every few days because the car that “I bought” for her with my own savings was in the shop.

So while I was paying for it to be fixed, I was lending her my car. Still, rather than explode at her, I just put the pieces with the tickets and went about my day.

Then, my mom won two tickets to go to New Zealand and she gave them to me because she wasn’t well enough to go by the expiration date. I couldn’t go because of work, so I gave them to my girlfriend to take a friend. But I had a diabolical motive for this.

I figured it would be the perfect opportunity to set something up to catch her in the act. Once she left, I bought a bunch of cameras and microphones and had my friend (a techie) put them around the house and in my car. When she got back, I had to go on a “work trip” for a few days.

I actually went down the street at my techie friend’s house, waiting for her to act up.

Nothing happened for two days and the microphones in my car stopped working, so all we had was the house. Then all of a sudden, the camera in my room turned on. When I looked at the footage, I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was there with my childhood best friend.

I hadn’t spoken to him for over a year, and the last time I saw him I drove him for eight hours to go to his dad’s funeral.

I didn’t ask for fuel money or expect anything in return. I even drove him back to Sydney for free. So me and my techie friend went back to my house that night and broke into his car by forcing the window down (it was a 1990s Ford with hand roll windows).

We then pushed it up the block and hid it behind an industrial building. We weren’t finished, either.

Then we went back to his place and called her. We watched her pick up the phone while she was next to him. I pretended to be checking in on her and she sounded “normal” and lied straight to me. It was obvious that she was nervous and it just made me even angrier.

We left her for the night and waited for this morning. Officers were talking to my ex-best friend about his car and she had to drive him home.

It was over an hour to his house, so when they left I had the locksmith change my front and back door locks and we dumped all her stuff in my ex-best friend’s car. I even sold the car I bought her to the shop that was supposed to fix it. She’ll be home any minute now.

Story credit: Reddit /SpicyMeatballGuy

I Reported Myself to the Campus Officers

I am a really shy, quiet, and anxious guy. I have an avoidant personality disorder, which means I want above all else to connect with people, but I struggle because of my anxiety. As you can probably guess, someone like this doesn’t get much attention from anyone at all.

At my college, there used to be a lot of members of staff called campus officers.

Their job was to basically enforce the rules of the college and discipline people, etc. They would all wear these uniforms with black coats and sunglasses. It was pretty hot. I remember fancying them because they represented authority, which I find really attractive.

I wasn’t the sort to ever misbehave so would never interact with these people.

I wanted to, but was so shy that I didn’t want to get actually disciplined to do it. So I ended up figuring out a much different plan. I began emailing the campus officers’ offices anonymously. I would report myself and say I was another student but wanted to stay anonymous.

I’d say things like “_____ is carrying weed on him,” etc.

Well, this wouldn’t be ignored. A campus officer would show up to class and call my name. I would just follow them very submissively, but I knew I wasn’t in any real trouble. I was so shy, but I loved every minute of the process.

I loved the submission of being collected from class, being marched to their office, being sat down and talked to in a sort of authoritative way.

I loved that I was in their office surrounded by staff in uniforms. I liked that they’d search my bag and really enjoyed when they searched me. As someone who was a virgin and really fancied these people, it was a lot of fun to get searched by them. It was an amazing thrill.

I reported myself this way multiple times during my time at the college.

They never found anything on me so I was never in any real trouble. After like the third time, my course manager spoke to me and explained that they thought someone might have it in for me, but it was college policy to take reports seriously.

At that point I knew I could just keep doing this whenever I wanted. Sure I got pulled out of class, but it was worth it.

It was a lot of fun for me regardless. I pretended I was uncomfortable and would behave very defensively, like I had something to hide. I think how shy and passive I was added to their suspicion to be honest. This is definitely a secret I wouldn’t share with anyone else.

It makes me laugh a lot thinking back to it. Figured I’d share the story because nobody else has probably done anything like this before.

Story credit: Reddit / SeriesDistrict4568

The Only Time I’ve Been in a Fight

Once, a lady ran up to me at a notoriously bad corner in town. I thought I knew her because she ran right up to me and hugged me. However, as soon as she let go, she started babbling incoherently, and I realized that she was one of the many mentally ill people living in the area.

A few minutes later, she did the same thing to a 50ish-year-old guy. I got a bad feeling, so I kept an eye on them.

He got very creepy with her, pushed her against a bus stop, and stated, “You’re coming home with me tonight.” She was half in tears, mumbling, and shaking her head violently, clearly not interested in going anywhere with him.

Even though I knew it wasn’t a safe choice for me, I felt compelled to do something.  I started yelling at him. He yelled back, then grabbed her by the wrist and started pulling her towards the alley.

I was terrified, in tears, and very angry. She screamed and I pulled the whiskey bottle out of my bag, yelled at him—and got hit in the face. I hit him back with the bottle. The girl ran away and I hit the man with the bottle again and he fell to the ground. I ran away crying then puked.

That is the only time I’ve ever been in a fight, and I’ve become a bit afraid of myself because of it.

Story credit: Reddit /iknowthatyouknow