People Who Broke Up For The Silliest Reasons Ever

In our modern world, dating is vastly different from the one that our parents lived in when they were young. Courtship was more the norm than it is today. There was a more formal aspect to courtship, even a more respectful element.

Then along came Tinder.

Nowadays, dating is a lot more selective since your rejection is based on how left or right a person swipes.  We asked Redditors to share their most wacky break-up stories, and the results were predictably funny, odd, and even outrageous.

Here are a few of our top picks.  

Not The Fork!

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I know a guy that once broke up with a girl for using a fork in a non-stick pan. That guy is now my husband.

I wasn’t that girl, mind you, but I will sometimes use that fun fact when we have a disagreement to try and bring back the peace; “That tears it!

(grabs fork, pulls out pan)

 “I’ll do it, man! You better smile now, or your precious Calphalon is toast!” He always bursts out laughing, so I’d say that it works!

Story Credit: Reddit/PlayervsPathos

It Was Not Natural

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Back in college, I heard this one. He said: “She puts on her bra first, underwear second, every time she gets dressed.” Apparently, this was a big deal? Worst part was it was a mutual acquaintance who was heartbroken over the sudden breakup.

She asked ME why he broke up with her. I could not tell her the truth. I told her “You’re just different people.” Later it turned out he was gay, so probably for the best anyway.

Story Credit: Reddit/Jdoc

Holding On To The Past

Alamy Stock

Knew someone who broke up with her boyfriend because he had a persistent bedwetting problem that lasted until he was 14 (he was 23 when the relationship started, by the way)

The funniest (or saddest, depending on your point of view) thing is that the relationship lasted less than a day.

Story Credit: Reddit/Deleted

Jealousy

PxHere

One of my first girlfriends dumped me because a woman talked to me. It was at the mall, we were with friends and just looking around at a bookstore.

I was looking at Stephen King books and this good-looking salesgirl asks if I’m looking for anything in particular.

I don’t say much, but she tells me about the latest release and such, typical sales talk as far as I can tell. She walks away and I look over at my girl and she is staring daggers at me.

I don’t think she ever said a word, just goes to her friend and says “let’s go”. They leave, and I literally never saw her again.

Story Credit: Reddit/satans_ferret