The Absurdity of These Real Life Arguments Is Unbelievable

Arguments that are infuriating can quickly get under any person’s skin. Unfortunately, it is inevitable that everyone will encounter the kinds of people who just love to escalate things.

To express the absurdity of some of these arguments, people have taken to the internet to share their stories—and they do not disappoint!

Mood Swings

My wife is pregnant with our daughter. Initially, we were really happy and excited about it. But then, it all goes wrong. She starts acting like a nut job.

She gets angry and irritated at small things, insults me when she doesn’t like the food I make, starts acting insecure, and accuses me of losing my attraction for her.

For example, she wanted to eat chicken sandwiches for dinner last week. Well, I made chicken sandwiches. So she eats all the sandwiches, leaves me nothing, and told me that they tasted like garbage. If she didn’t like them, why did she have to eat everything?

When I asked her this, she told me that she was hungry. Ok fine. She does this every time. Eats everything I make and calls it garbage. I don’t argue with her because I work for more than 80 hours a week and I really want to have some peace when I’m home.

So, yesterday, a random girl starts flirting with me after the gym and asked me if I wanted to meet up with her for some drinks. I rejected her and told her that I was married.

And when I got home, my wife started to hug me and apologize. That’s when I learned the dark truth. When I asked her what happened, she told me that her best friend suggested a test for my loyalty.

So they asked a mutual friend to flirt with me and ask me out. And I passed. Yay?!!? I’m really angry. I’m done with her antics.

Story credit: Reddit / Stupidtest_

Lying Through His Teeth

So, I do a lot of insurance work, and I try cases of all kinds, large and small. I had a small case, over about $2,600, from where a contractor drove into a retaining wall at this lady’s house and damaged it.

He wouldn’t fix it, and, after like eight months, the homeowner allowed her insurance company—my client—to have it fixed and then sent the bill to the contractor. Surprise surprise, the contractor wouldn’t pay.

There was lots of squabbling between my client and the contractor’s insurance company, who offered less than $500 on a $2,600 bill. We had a trial to settle it. I brought our claims adjuster and the homeowner.

The defense attorney brought the contractor and an adjuster from the contractor’s insurance company. Everything goes fine with questioning the homeowner, who was a sweet, middle-aged woman. She, like most people, knows nothing about the finer points of masonry. Then, we get to my claims adjuster.

He says, “Well, we paid $2,600 to have this fixed, but I’m not an expert on masonry.” However, he also discussed how estimates on masonry were made. I close my proof. Next, the contractor gets up on the stand. They go over what exactly happened with the retaining wall.

Then, he testifies that he “knows for a fact” that the $2,600 invoice includes overhead and profit and accuses my client of “running a scam.” The judge strikes the answer. I look down at the estimate for repair and grin from ear to ear.

It says, in bold print, “This amount does not include overhead or profit.” I look at the invoice. It’s the same amount as the estimate. This guy is lying through his teeth—and I’m going to catch him.

On cross examination, I show the contractor the invoice. “Sir, this is a $2,600 invoice for repair, correct.” “Yes.” Then I show him the estimate.

“Sir, this is a $2,600 estimate for the same repairs, correct?” “Yes.” “They’re the same amount, correct?” “Yes.”

“Does the estimate say it does not include profit or overhead?” “Uh…” “Does it?” “Yes.” “Didn’t you just testify that you knew for a fact that the estimate included overhead?” “I don’t know.” “What don’t you know?”

At this point, the contractor is furious and beats his hand on the stand. “It doesn’t include overhead and profit, does it?” “I guess not.” “But you said it did, right?” I pass the witness. But I wasn’t done yet.

 Next, the defense attorney calls the contractor’s insurance company’s adjuster.

He testifies about how much he thought it should cost, like $500.00. I cross-examine him. “How did you make this estimate?” “I put the numbers into a computer program.” “How do you know what numbers to put in?” “Uh…” “Are you a contractor?” “No.” “Are you an expert in masonry?” “No.”

“Have you ever worked in construction?” “No.” “And the computer programs spits out what you put in?” “Yes.” “And you can just put in whatever numbers you want?” “Yes.” “And it makes an estimate based on the numbers you pick?” “Yes.” “But you don’t know anything about masonry?” “No.”

The adjuster just testified that he made up the estimate. Defense closes proof. And the judge takes the matter under advisement. So let’s recap all this glory.

The contractor lied and was discredited, and the adjuster for the contractor admitted he just made everything up. We got $1,000 out of the trial. Less than half of what we sought but double what the defendant argued it should be. It was a win in my book.

Story credit: Reddit / Esq

Following Up

My insufferable manager followed me after work to my second job because she didn’t believe I had one and was just using it as an excuse to get out early.

My manager at my second job said, “There’s some crazy lady banging on the doors yelling your name.”

So, I grabbed my uniform from my bag, opened the door, threw it in her face, and told her to shove off.

Story credit: Reddit / cybermericorp

No Connection

A very grumpy high-society woman came to the store saying her brand new 3,000-dollar Microsoft surface bought by her husband was defective because she could not get internet when she was on the move.

I quickly realized she was talking about Wi-Fi, so I tried explaining to her how Wi-Fi actually works. Boy, was that a mistake! I told her that she could not use her Wi-Fi outside her house, but that she could share her smartphone internet connection. She would have none of it.

She said I was lying to her and making fun of her. She even asked to speak to my manager, who then proceeded to tell her the exact same thing, almost to the word. She left screaming.

Story credit: Reddit / NeededMonster