The Best ‘I Don’t Work Here’ Stories From Real People in the Retail World
Being mistaken for a retail worker is the worst part about working retail. (Or being requested to do additional duties for which you are not compensated.) If you don’t believe me, just read any of these accounts.
We’ve compiled some of the greatest examples of people from all around the globe sharing their “I don’t work here” tales online.
Get a manager if you need one after reading these true stories.
30. Where Am I?
I worked at Target and there was a Hobby Lobby across the street. I ran over to Hobby Lobby after a shift to grab something and I was still wearing my red shirt with the target symbols all over it.
A 20-something girl comes up to and says, “Do you know where I can find a glue gun?” I paused and just kind of looked at my shirt and I said “… you mean at this store or… like… at Target?” And she just stared at my name tag for a long time and sighed a heavy sigh and quietly said, “Sorry, I don’t know where I am.”
29. Can You Come In Anyway?
Last holiday season, I worked seasonally for Target.
It was a disaster from the start. The managers had absolutely no organization whatsoever. I should have known when they scheduled me for my second interview and the manager didn’t even show up that I was screwed.
Toward the end of the holiday season, after Christmas and before New Years, they offered me a non-seasonal part-time position. I was going to accept but they wanted me to work a TON for part-time and being a college student they were not willing to be flexible at all.
So I said, “Nope, I am done after my last day on Jan. 6th.”
Everything was good after I was done with that train-wreck and I was starting off my second semester. January 20th at 5:00 PM I get a call from Target.
Manager: “Hey, are you running a little late? You were supposed to work at 4:30.”
Me: “Ummm no. I quit over three weeks ago.”
Manager: “Uhhh well we are really short-staffed. Can you come in anyway?”
Me: “No. I do not work there anymore, I told you that and I’m at school.”
Manager: “are you sure you can’t come in anyway?”
Thank goodness I’m done with that disaster! And since this holiday season is coming up, I got a job at a different place. Thank goodness.
28. Peaceful Giant
My husband is a peaceful giant. He is 6 ft 5 and can look quite imposing even though he really is a teddy bear.
So here we are, at the grocery story, with our 6-month-old baby, shopping. The kid is fussy and nothing really calms him except when we carry him in our arms.
It is my turn and my husband is going back and forth gathering what we need and bringing the items to our cart when this old woman started yelling at him.
Old Woman: ARE YOU DONE? You’ve been helping her FOREVER and I NEED HELP! NOW!
Husband: (with his smooth everything-is-good kind of tone) I’m so sorry, but I’m afraid I do not work here…
OW: NONSENSE! I just saw you help HER shopping. NOW, you help ME! AND YOU DO NOT TALK BACK TO ME!
Husband: But…
OW: STOP! Don’t talk to me unless it is to thank me. Are we clear?
My husband sees me boiling and about to interfere but makes a sign that’s says he is going to deal with it. He then calmly lookS at her with a smile.
OW: GOOD! Now, help me grab the ketchup on this high shelve. WHY in the world you people always put the stuff I need so high is BEYOND me. Now, chop-chop!
My husband grabs the item, but instead of giving it to her, he keeps it just a tiny bit out of her reach. He looks at it and then at me.
Husband: Honey, do we need ketchup?
Me: (catching on) Well, as a matter of fact, yes! We do!
Lady: WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU GIVE HER MY STUFF! IT’S MY STUFF! GIVE IT TO ME!!!
Super slowly, my husband gets closer to the lady. He is so imposing that she calms down immediately. With the biggest of smiles and the most polite voice ever, he says to her: “Again, I do not work here… but thank you for reminding me we need ketchup.”
And with that, he puts the item in our cart, grabs the baby, and together, we left. In the background, the lady kept howling some profanities.
27. Our Driveway Isn’t Company Property
College. A bunch of guys rent a beat up old house in town next to a daycare. Problem is the parents picking up and dropping off park in our driveway. We argue with the owner of the daycare every day. She doesn’t care.
So one day I begin parking behind the parents who are parked in my driveway. This infuriates the daycare owner. We go back and forth and usually I go out and move my car so the parents can get their car out. One day, though, I’ve just had it.
I worked most of the night, had early morning classes, and I have twenty minutes to shave, shower, and get ready for my second job this afternoon.
I get home and sure enough parents are in our driveway…again. So I park behind them and go inside. Get in the shower and when I get out the daycare owner is beating on the door loud enough to shake the wall. I go downstairs wrapped in a towel and open the door.
She burst into the middle of the living room and screams at me.
While she is screaming I take the towel off and calmly dry my hair. I am buck naked. She stops screaming long enough to realize she’s standing next to a naked college student, screams something about calling the cops and bolts for the door. It doesn’t open.
In her haste to leave she’s locked the door instead of unlocking it. Now she’s stuck with a naked man. I tell her I have to have the key (true) to unlock the door and the key is upstairs on my dresser. I leave her looking like she’s about to have a heart attack.
When I come back to the living room she’s white as a ghost. I unlock the door and say, “It sucks to be stuck and not able to leave, right?”
Fast forward about 20 minutes and when I’m leaving a cop is parked in front of the house. I chat with them through the car window. I explain the situation and they chuckle. “Did you invite her in?” No, I tell them, she barged into my house.
“Well it’s not a crime to be naked in your own house. Her problem for violating your privacy.”
I’d love to say this rectified the situation, but it didn’t. We never found a way to stop parents from parking in our driveway.