Here Are The Dumbest Competitive Reality Shows Ever Made. Blech!
We don’t have a rose, but we do have the worst reality TV competitions ever made.
If reality shows are your thing, that’s cool! They’re often fun, easy and delightfully cheesy. But sometimes, a reality TV producer’s reach exceeds their grasp. Sometimes the desire for views and controversy triumphs over a basic sense of human decency. Sometimes the jilted lovers, lying millionaires, and faded stars align, bringing you the worst reality TV competitions ever made. They’ll leave you gagging, alright, but not in the fun RuPaul way. More like the “I’m actually physically gagging because this is disgusting” way. Take a look at the following competitions, but make sure you have some The Great British Bake Off chasers.Mad Mad House
Mad Mad House features people who live “alternate lifestyles”. These folks, one of whom is a self-proclaimed vampire, challenges contestants to perform tasks in their lifestyle. Are we laughing at the vampire or with him?
It’s almost progressive in the way it purports to put power in the hands of the alternative people.
However, it widely misses the mark in its broad strokes and factual inaccuracies.
Solitary
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Here’s some free advice for TV producers: If your show’s premise sounds like it could belong in a dystopian novel, don’t make the show.
Sadly, Solitary could fit right at home in a Brave New World. It forces contestants to remain in solitary confinement for as long as possible, with no access to the outside world, any timepieces, or even windows.
It’s the kind of show that makes you yell, “What is wrong with us?!”
The Swan
Reasonable human beings: Inner beauty is what counts. This is a message especially important to young, impressionable American women.
The producers of The Swan: Let’s make a show that pits women against each other! And let’s focus on the improvement of physical beauty to the point of mandatory plastic surgery!
Reasonable human beings: Yikes.
Momma’s Boys
We’re not going to get into the creepy, Freudian subconscious-stoking sexual politics of Momma’s Boys. Actually, yes we are. It’s friggin’ creepy that on this show, a bunch of dudes’ moms live with female suitors and decide who’s the right mate for their sons!
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes a bad reality show is something more.