During the ‘50s, there were many unspoken rules of daily living that were expected to be followed by everyone. These rules consisted of proper etiquette and dress rituals that had to be followed to the letter or the offender may be seen as rude or impolite.
During the ‘50s, there were many unspoken rules of daily living that were expected to be followed by everyone. These rules consisted of proper etiquette and dress rituals that had to be followed to the letter or the offender may be seen as rude or impolite.
At the start of a meal it was customary to put your napkin in your lap, so by placing it on the table you could let your dinner mates know that you were done eating.
According to etiquette rules of the ‘50s, brides who have been married before should not wear white or wear a veil. They should wear a nice dress and hat.
As it was still customary for men to handle finances in the ‘50s, it was considered out of place for women to talk about money in public.
Other etiquette rules for men include never wearing the same suit two days in a row and never allowing your hair to grow so long that someone can tell when you have gotten a haircut.
Thoughtful men who didn’t smoke were still expected to carry matches or lighters with them at all times in case anyone hoping to smoke asks them for a light.
To pin someone, you had to give them an item like a class ring or fraternity pin. Some people saw “getting pinned” as a pre-engagement ceremony.
Some hairdressers still agree that you should not wash your hair too often, otherwise your scalp could become dry and flaky.
There were many rules for eating in the ‘50s, many of which minimized spitting and improper sounds.
According to etiquette rules, bridesmaids should not be older than the bride, and they should be close friends with her.
Walking on the street side of the sidewalk ensures that no one is too caught up by items in the passing storefronts to hold a conversation.
It was considered poor manners to display any disruptive emotions to anyone in the ‘50s, including your children. Parents were advised to always stay calm and collected around the little ones.
Even if the bride is not close acquaintances with her husband’s friends, she must take on the task of writing thank you notes for their gifts.
People considered that the longer an engagement lasted, the more poorly the marriage would be, except in extreme circumstances.
If you know someone or live near them it was considered very rude by some people to not greet them when you saw them outdoors.
According to some fashion rules, white socks should only be worn with white shoes because they will clash with other dark footwear.
In the ‘50s and before, it was still customary and polite for men to wear hats whenever out in public. Hats would then be taken off while indoors.
Etiquette author Amy Vanderbilt wrote that while riding public transportation a man didn’t have to fully lift his hat to tip it, but just touch the brim.
It was considered impolite to smoke at the dinner table during formal meals, until dessert that is. If ashtrays were placed on the table, it was okay to smoke.
Finger bowls were typically brought to the table during a formal meal to cleanse your hands after eating a dish that requires you to use them, like lobster or clams.
In addition to a specialty cocktail, a host is also allowed to serve sherry, scotch or bourbon, and vegetable or fruit juices.
Eggnog was considered too much of a specialty drink to fit with normal before dinner drink fare, so it should only be saved for special occasions.
Some people believe that wrapping cold wine in a towel is meant to hide the age and brand of the wine to trick those who will be drinking it.
It is considered a courteous to the performers and other audience members to be promptly on time.
When out at a restaurant for dinner, it was often considered polite for the man to help the woman by pulling out her chair, ordering and paying for the meal.
Before sitting down to dinner, it was polite to check your coat so you wouldn’t be fidgeting with it during your meal and your hands were free to converse.
Without the distractions of the internet and social media, it was easier to find the time for letter writing. But, most people still appreciate a hand written note in the mail time and again.
Pointing is considered rude because it is considered a form of mockery or ridicule to some people, especially when being used to point out a flaw or mistake.
In the ‘50s, good posture was something that was very important to show at all times and putting your elbows on the table is just not proper dinner posture.
A lot of ‘50s rules centered around gender roles and when it came to relationships, the man was typically in charge. But this would change by the ‘60s, when women’s rights became a more popular topic.
Letting a person know that you returned their gift would be a very impolite thing to do in the ‘50s. Anything less than sending a thank you note less than a week after you got your gift would be considered rude.
If a child wanted to ask for something, saying “I want” almost guaranteed that they would not get it. The proper way to ask would be with the phrase “I would like” or “may I have,” followed by please and thank you, of course.
No dinner should ever be eaten with your fingers, even if that meal is chicken tenders and French fries. The most well-mannered of the bunch will even eat candy bars with a fork and knife to ensure that their hands stay clean.
Children were expected to keep up with household duties as anyone else was in the ‘50s, without any reward. But, as technology progressed and middle class families started to make more money, allowances became more popular.
You should always meet someone before calling them on the phone, so it would have been impolite to call a family’s home without first meeting them in person.
Women who insisted on doing things for themselves were often seen as pushy or rude in the ‘50s, a time when being subservient was popular.
Even today, parents will probably form a negative opinion on anyone who insists on honking their horn in the car instead of coming up to the door to pick up their date.
Not until the ‘60s did skirts start to get shorter and pants become a popular option for women. Before that time, pants were considered a very masculine piece of clothing.
When the telephone was invented by Alexander Graham Bell in the 1870s, his preferred method of answering the phone was with the phrase “ahoy-hoy.”
Using the word “may” was considered more polite and grammatically correct than using the word “can,” because the word “may” implies that you are asking permission.
It is always polite to offer your elders your seat on a bus. But, no one will bat an eye if you don’t do so today.
Because flying on airplanes was still a novelty in the ’50s, it was customary to wear your best clothes for the occasion. This included a suit and tie for men and dresses for women.
Etiquette coach Florence Hartley wrote, “Though you should always speak pleasantly, do not mix your conversation with loud bursts of laughter.”
Florence Hartley wrote in her book, “The Ladies’ Book of Etiquette and Manual of Politeness” to “beware of such vulgar interpolations as "You know," "You see," and "I'll tell you what."
When any adult entered the room children were expected to stand and greet their guest with a handshake and an introduction if they were meeting for the first time.
Please and thank you were mandatory phrases for children of the ’50s, to be used in ways like “please may I have” or “thank you sir/madam.”
It was customary for men to wear hats while outdoors, but it was considered impolite to keep them on while indoors. It was also customary to take off your hat when talking to a woman.
“Speak when you’re spoken to” was a phrase most children of the ‘50s heard often. Children were taught not to make the first comment and to politely listen until another person speaks to them.
It was polite for men to hold doors open for other men and women of all ages, but women did not have to hold doors open for men, as it was seen as rude.
Children in the ‘50s were taught etiquette from an early age, which included many strict rules about respecting their elders. Today, these rules that caused children of the past a lot of stress are no longer popular.
Crossing your arms was another sign of bad posture, which was considered very impolite in the ‘50s. The proper way to stand was with your arms at your side or behind your back.
Children were expected to stand, shake hands, and introduce themselves to any adult guests.
The idea of "pickup" lines really gained traction in the 1950s. Since courtship was mainly about a man's pursuit, an opening line was essential to get the ball rolling.
Young adults should only date one person at a time. The 1950s gave rise to the concept of "going steady." Teenagers were especially encouraged to pair off as early as possible in preparation for getting married by their late teens or early 20s.
Though a chaperoned date was ideal, and certainly the norm for a school dance, group dating was encouraged as a way to have young adults keep one another in check (though, it seldom worked).
Amy Vanderbilt says, "It is the bride's family that sets the size and style of the wedding. The groom and his family must co-operate by furnishing their invitation and announcement lists as early as possible, so the bride may combine them with her own usually larger lists, remove duplications, and, if necessary, shorten the lists with the help of both families."
To make the partnership "official," the couple would exchange a symbolic item, like a ring or pin. This marker was a precursor to the couple's eventual exchange of wedding rings and vows in later years. It also advertised to other suitors that a woman was "taken" and effectively off the market.
According to Amy Vandirbilt, "As only the closest friends of the bride are asked, it seems a slight if someone asked neglects to send a little gift, if she can't take it in person. Of course, if the hostess has erred in asking a mere acquaintance of the bride to attend a shower for her, then the recipient of the invitation is under no obligation either to attend or send a gift."
No kissing was allowed on the first date. Instead, it was expected that the couple would end their date with a polite handshake or hug. Then, the gentleman would walk his date back to her home.
Amy Vanderbilt wrote: "Many a modern bride eschews a diamond or any other engagement ring. If she does want one, she should help choose it, with the kind of wedding band she wants in mind. Sometimes an eager fiancee, buying an engagement ring without his bride-to-be, selects one that can't be worn with an ordinary wedding ring."
According to Amy Vanderbilt, "Except under extraordinary circumstances, a formal engagement should not last more than six months. And any man or woman who lets the engagement run into a matter of years for any reason whatsoever is not a good marriage risk at least not for that possible partner."