Oh No, Bill Belichick Has Found His Next QB And Even Tom Brady Approves

Bryan Brandom
(Photo: Getty Images)

Bill Belichick reportedly traded Tom Brady heir apparent Jimmy Garoppolo at the tension-inducing insistence of New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft. Just over five months later, the Patriots head coach, who’s responsible for the team’s personnel decisions, has apparently identified the next man to hold a clipboard on the Patriots sideline and wait for Brady to run out of the baby blood that fuels him — he wants to draft Lamar Jackson.

According to sources of Bleacher Report’s Mike Freeman, “the Patriots are the team most interested in Jackson.”

So impressed are the Patriots, that even Brady, reportedly “famously unhelpful” to former backup Garoppolo, displayed his approval.

For fans of the NFL’s other 31 teams, this can’t be good.

Belichick helped transform a sixth-round pick in Brady into a Hall of Fame quarterback, arguably the best there’s ever been. He also developed Garoppolo, a second-rounder, into the league’s highest-paid player, apparently without much help from Brady.

Just imagine what Belichick could do with a player with a better pedigree than either of those guys, plus Brady’s assistance.

Fortunately for those of us who didn’t root for Sauron in “The Lords of the Rings,” the league’s other franchises will have plenty of say in whether Jackson ends up in New England.

USA Today compared six of the most popular mock draft boards across the internet, coming up with an average draft position of 19th overall for the Louisville quarterback. The Patriots have the 23rd and 31st picks in the first round.

You know what to do, teams that aren’t the Patriots: Refuse to trade with the NFL’s evil empire and, for the love of god, don’t allow Jackson to slip into their cold grip.