Brandi Chastain’s HOF Plaque Is So Much Worse Than The Cristiano Ronaldo Bust

Bryan Brandom
(Photo: Getty Images / Twitter)

The world apparently can’t go much more than a year without producing a grotesque representation of a soccer star’s face.

It’s been 14 months since Cristiano Ronaldo’s bust at an airport in Portugal became a meme. But Brandi Chastain’s plaque in the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame is even worse.

The Ronaldo bust may look like a bizarro, murderous version of Ronaldo. But at least it looks like a version of Ronaldo.

The woman responsible for the greatest moment in the history of American soccer is absent from her plaque entirely.

It looks like a lot of people. But none of them are Brandi Chastain.

Because she’s a boss, Chastain managed not to throw out any suggestions of her own at her induction, such as, oh I don’t know, Babe Ruth’s diabetic grandma or Peter King sitting on the toilet.

“It’s not the most flattering,” Chastain said. “But it’s nice.”

No it’s not, Brandi. You goddamn champion.

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