Brandi Chastain’s HOF Plaque Is So Much Worse Than The Cristiano Ronaldo Bust

Bryan Brandom
(Photo: Getty Images / Twitter)

The world apparently can’t go much more than a year without producing a grotesque representation of a soccer star’s face.

It’s been 14 months since Cristiano Ronaldo’s bust at an airport in Portugal became a meme. But Brandi Chastain’s plaque in the Bay Area Sports Hall of Fame is even worse.

The Ronaldo bust may look like a bizarro, murderous version of Ronaldo. But at least it looks like a version of Ronaldo.

The woman responsible for the greatest moment in the history of American soccer is absent from her plaque entirely.

It looks like a lot of people. But none of them are Brandi Chastain.

Because she’s a boss, Chastain managed not to throw out any suggestions of her own at her induction, such as, oh I don’t know, Babe Ruth’s diabetic grandma or Peter King sitting on the toilet.

“It’s not the most flattering,” Chastain said. “But it’s nice.”

No it’s not, Brandi. You goddamn champion.

Share on Twitter