The 10 Most Embarrassing Parts Of Bryan Colangelo’s Alleged Secret Twitter Accounts

Bryan Brandom
(Photo: / Screenshot)

The man brought into Philadelphia to replace ex-GM Sam Hinkie’s cold, hard analytics might be undone by the very same thing.

Well, that and just a childlike grasp of how to stay anonymous on social media.

Barring his being the victim of an intensely elaborate and highly improbable hoax, 76ers GM Bryan Colangelo and/or possibly his dad Jerry Colangelo — who works for the 76ers and hired his son to be the GM — are behind five anonymous Twitter accounts, some of which were used to trash Bryan Colangelo’s predecessor and his team’s biggest stars, and to telegraph the franchise’s moves.

This according to The Ringer, which received an anonymous tip about the possibility of the younger Colangelo’s secret Twitter accounts:

The source explained that they worked in artificial intelligence and, after noticing a “bunch of weird tweets” directed at Sixers writers, used an open-source data analysis tool to link five accounts through commonalities including similarities in who the accounts followed and linguistic quirks.

The Ringer’s Ben Detrich sagely asked the 76ers about just two of the five accounts in question, and the other three were switched from public to private within hours. The younger Colangelo admitted to using only one of the accounts to monitor social media.

So, yeah. Either someone deeply connected to the 76ers has framed the Colangelos, or the guys are even dimmer than most of the team’s fans had already suspected.

There are just so many embarrassing tweets to sift through, particularly because several of them are likely to send readers into 10-minute laughing fits.

Here are the 10 most embarrassing tidbits of the 76ers Twitter scandal.

1. The blatant jealousy of Hinkie

One of the Colangelos — er, whoever is behind the accounts — bristled at any noticed praise of the former GM who tanked the 76ers’ way into several high draft picks. 

“I have no respect for Hinkie’s martyrdom bcs it is orchestrated by him behind the curtains via all the bloggers he cultivated with leaks,” one tweet read.

A different account boasted that Bryan Colangelo “has done nothing but clean up hinkie’s mess.”

2. Same goes for Masai Ujiri, who replaced Bryan Colangelo at the helm of the Raptors

“Nothing seems to fall on Ujiri’s shoulders. Why?,” one of the Twitter accounts, Eric jr, wondered.

The same account accused Ujiri of “coasting by on ‘trustfund’ money” and lamented Ujiri’s large contract several times.

3. One of the accounts called Bryan Colangelo “a class act”

In November, someone (probably jokingly) wondered if one of the accounts belonged to Bryan Colangelo. The response has already become a meme.

4. Some of the accounts ripped 76ers players, a lot

Like Joel Embiid, whom an account described as “selfish” and having an “ego crisis.”

And former 76ers center Nerlens Noel.

5. One of the accounts also said they’d trade Embiid for Kristaps Porzingis

6. One of the accounts hated that the size of Bryan Colangelo’s shirt collars had become a meme

7. Helmers of the accounts were often in the same place as Bryan Colangelo

The only time any of the five accounts mentioned Philly’s G League team, now the Blue Coats but then called the 87ers, Colangelo was in the building at an 87ers game.

An account also revealed the user was at the 2008 Olympics while both Colangelos were there.

“I sat NEXT to you and [Dwyane Wade] at Beijing Olympics and saw you both being rude nasty to little kid fan,” the account tweeted after actress Gabrielle Union pointed out that Tom Brady had skipped a White House visit during Barack Obama’s presidency. “Had to eat yr pizza. … You showed no respect to this little kid, who are you to stand on high grounds? Never looked at DW the same after that.” 

8. Yeah, about that …

9. One of the accounts accused head coach Brett Brown of benching Markelle Fultz to sabotage the team

“I think that it would shorten Brett’s rope on ‘why we lost’ alibi,” wrote one account, Still Balling. “So Brett would rather keep him out.”

10. It’d appear a Colangelo telegraphed the Fultz trade

By liking a reporter’s response to this trade suggestion.

The 76ers have launched an investigation into the ordeal. It shouldn’t take long.