Hopeless Jets Quarterback Bryce Petty Still Doesn’t Really Know How To Put A Helmet On


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This week on Does Bryce Petty Know How to Football?, the answer still appears to be no.

Two weeks after he learned a relatively key rule for the position he’s supposedly attempting to play, quarterback, Petty revealed that even basic things like putting a football helmet on can vex him.

He tried putting that important piece of safety equipment on in freezing temperatures for his New York Jets‘ Week 17 visit to the New England Patriots, but forgot that he’d previously adorned himself with a winter hat.

Once he’d finally put his helmet on and the game had started, Petty didn’t look much better.

Also incapable of handling the cold in the Northeast: Philadelphia Eagles punter Donnie Jones, who accidentally wore his sweatpants while taking the field, forcing him to strip quickly before a snap during his squad’s matchup with the Dallas Cowboys.

Patriots head coach Bill Belichick, however, was undaunted by the cold this morning.

The Jets–Patriots game is still going on, but because of Belichick’s and Petty’s disparate abilities to withstand the cold, and a couple of other reasons, I’m predicting the final score to be about a bajillion to not very much, in New England’s favor.