Donald Trump: Bill Belichick Kissed Me and Told Me ‘I Love You’

Bryan Brandom
(Photo: Getty Images)

President Donald Trump isn't known for saying things that are true, sane, or coherent.

This story he told to New York Times Magazine's Mark Leibovich, about New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, is likely no exception on that first count, but Donald can dream, can't he?

By far the best deal Kraft ever made was hiring Belichick, Trump said. Who, by the way, is also “a great, great friend” of Trump’s, even though everyone just assumes he’s “a really rough guy.”

“So I go to the Patriots game last year,” Trump said. “I’m on the sidelines with Kraft. He’s got Les Moonves right here. He’s got a lot of different people. And Belichick comes over in his Patriots sweatshirt and the hoodie and the whole thing. He hugs me, and he kisses me, and he said: ‘I love you. You’re the greatest.’” Trump sat at his cluttered desk and seemed almost dreamy at the memory, as if the reception from Belichick genuinely moved him. “He just feels warmly toward me, Belichick does,” Trump said. “Isn’t that the craziest thing?”

You hear that, Les Moonves, CEO of CBS? Bill doesn't love you, and you're not the greatest. Donald is!

I think we know whom the president will be rooting for in the Super Bowl (Hint: it's not the low-energy Atlanta Falcons. Sad!), glassy-eyed with his tiny-fingered hands clasped under his chin while his staff thinks of other ways to piss off America's allies.