Lithuanian Broadcasters Trash LiAngelo And LaMelo Ball: “They Sucked At Defense”

Bryan Brandom
(Photo: Getty Images)

LaVar Ball will probably never land the Los Angeles Lakers head coaching gig he covets so much, but he’s working his way up to it.

Mr. Potato Head’s nephew stalked the sidelines for BC Vytautas, the Lithuanian team of sons LaMelo Ball and LiAngelo Ball, on Tuesday in the squad’s fourth game of the Big Baller Challenge.

“He will be an assistant coach on game protocol but will drive the team through the game and make many of the decisions,” a spokesman for the team said ahead of the game, according to ESPN. “The style the team is going to play is going to be LaVar’s choice.”

BC Vytautas’ head coach, Virginijus Seskus, aka the Lithuanian LaVar Ball, also supported the move.

“LaVar wants the team to play fast,” Seskus said. “He also has an idea for a new way for the team to play defense, so we’re going to try it out tonight. Today we’ll be like two equal coaches.”

The team won, but LaVar’s new defensive scheme was hardly fruitful, as the team escaped with a 147-142 victory.

Local broadcasters made sure viewers were aware of just how bad the brothers had played defensively: they sucked.

LaVar’s sons combined for more than half the squad’s points, scoring 80; 16-year-old LaMelo dropped 43, including 23 in the third quarter.

But don’t go anointing the Ball brothers kings of Lithuanian basketball just yet—the Big Baller Brand Challenge, featuring BC Vytautas and other franchise’s under-18 teams, was created specifically to give the kids a chance to show out against lesser competition.

Their team has played in two actual Lithuanian league games; they’re 0-2 and the brothers have combined to score just 33 points at that level.

As for LaVar’s coaching tenure, it seems the team designed such a post to keep him happy, and it won’t extend to the games in the Lithuanian league, which actually matter.

“Why not let him do it? It’s only a friendly match,” Seskus said. “It will end, and everyone will forget about it.”