Ranking All 30 NBA Teams By How Intimidating Their Name Is

Sailboats, precious medals, car parts, Harry Potter’s teachers, planets, weather, ancient languages, cowboy attire — NBA teams draw their names from some pretty peculiar figures. Some instill fear, while others will only knock you down with hilarious harmlessness.

I’m looking at you, only team named after a piece of basketball equipment. Here’s all 30 NBA teams, in order of least intimidating name to most intimidating.

30. Denver Nuggets

Gold nuggets are not just unintimidating, they’re downright inviting. Not only are they inanimate objects, I’d genuinely love to get pelted with them. Free money, dummy, let the bits of precious metal rain down on me.

29. Utah Jazz

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Not only is jazz an art form, it’s probably the second-most lampooned type of music in the United States. Luckily for jazz enthusiasts, Nickelback exists.

28. Detroit Pistons

A piston is a piece of a car engine. Just one piece! The only way it can inflict pain on you is if you’re dumb enough to stick your finger into the valve sliding back and forth.

27. Brooklyn Nets

Come on, Nuggets, Jazz, and Pistons, you really couldn’t even manage to be scarier than the freaking cloth teams are trying to put the ball through? Nets aren’t scary, unless maybe you’re a crustacean or very, very easy to trap.