Eagles Fans Proceed To Tear Philadelphia Apart Following Super Bowl Win

Bryan Brandom
(Photo: Getty Images)

You knew it was coming—no matter how much the city had prepared for it, you knew Philadelphia Eagles fans were going to go apeshit on their own city in the event of a Super Bowl victory.

So, Macy’s, the Ritz-Carlton Philadelphia, and every other business that saw its property defiled on Sunday night, you can thank Brandon Graham and his clutch strip-sack of Tom Brady for the carnage that followed.

You know fire made an appearance.

Same with shattered windows.

Of course Eagles fans scaled light posts, even though police had upgraded from greasing them with Crisco to greasing them with hydraulic fluid.

Eagles fans even made a sport out of jumping off the Ritz-Carlton’s awning. Until it collapsed.

“It changes your whole outlook about yourself, your whole identity,” Eagles season-ticket holder Tom Russo told the Washington Post of the Super Bowl win as he walked up Broad Street. “When you’re an Eagles fan it’s like you’ve been a loser your whole life, and suddenly you’re not a loser anymore. I’m not a loser anymore.”

Yeah, now that they’re defiling the city and its businesses, Eagles fans are definitely not losers.