Scotland National Team Manager Wants The Nation’s Tall People To Start Boning Each Other

Bryan Brandom
(Photo: Getty Images)

‘Tis the season for qualifying—and failing to qualify—for the World Cup.

On Sunday, Scotland landed on the outside looking in, as would happen to the United States days later.

A 2-2 draw with Slovenia did the Scots in, and the fact that both Slovenian goals came via set pieces sent Scotland manager Gordon Strachan on a rant advocating for a nationwide eugenics campaign—he wants the largest Scots there are to make like a pair of bored Buffalo Bills fan in a parking lot.

In other words, he wants the tall lads and lasses of Scotland to bone.

“Genetically we are behind. In the last campaign we were the second smallest, apart from Spain,” Strachan said, apparently unaware that being in the same boat as the winners of two of the last three EuroCups and one of the last two World Cups is a good thing.

“We had to pick a team to combat the height and strength at set-plays. Genetically we have to work at things, maybe we get big women and men together and see what we can do.

“But it is a problem for us because we have to fight harder for every ball and jump higher than anyone else.

“Nobody can tell me their technique, apart from one player, is better than any of ours. But physically we have a problem. We seem to be able to battle it and get through just with sheer determination and skill and work-rate. And that takes a lot out of you.”

Just one problem. Roman Bezjak, scorer of both goals, isn’t exactly a towering figure at 5’10”.

“I have been successful with other teams and, with all due respect to all those lads, and they will know who I am talking about because they are my mates now, this group is as good as anything I have worked with,” the 5’6″ Strachan continued, according to the Telegraph.

“This group do it for nothing, they come and do it for the country and their families and the fans.”

Interesting choice of words.

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