’90s Nickelodeon shows rebooted for adultsThey’re rebooting everything now; we’ve come to expect it. And Nickelodeon was bound to be next. So, naturally, Clarissa Explains It All and Legends Of The Hidden Temple are among the scores of remakes already out there. But don’t just redo the show with some other precocious kid and some new high-top sneakers. Because I want an adult Clarissa getting woke and coming face to face with the limitations of her white feminism. And forget preteens. I want the chance to rise up and conquer the damn Hidden Temple myself. Because Nickelodeon helped define millennial childhoods. And the weird and wonderful heart at the center of their shows is what most of all makes these ideas for Nickelodeon shows rebooted for adults a total cultural necessity.
Literally two nights ago I had a conversation with my friend about what grown-up Doug is like. She argued he’s an incel and I said no, I think he’s a sex-positive cuck. “But Skeeter is a non-binary icon!” she retorted. “Oh, for sure,” I said, “and Doug would never turn his back on his best buddy.” And thus Millennial Doug was born.